YES! HAZZAH! CELEBRATION!!!
I've completed the outline for my book!
Finally, after stressing about it for a week and a half, I sat down last night and poured into 3 1/2 pages the outcome of my beloved tale. Elation! I've sent it off to some entrusted colleagues for critique, and as soon as they get back to me I'm free to start writing.
OMG I can't wait.
AND...
MY BREAKDANCING DVDS COME IN TODAY!!! DOUBLE YAY!
I'll be advancing in BGirl status in no time. This monday I went to the hip hop class at the Meridian. OMG, can I say FUN? And- excruciatingly embarrasing. I looked like Chris Farley on stage at a Justin Timberlake concert... all the people around me (including the illustrious teacher) had been backup dancers in music videos before, and had the moves and physique to proove it. I can't even do the 2-step. But I had a great time :)
BTW, if anybody is interested in stopping global warming, look at this. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but if you're not gonna at least TRY it for the animals or yourself- try it for the future of human kind. It's a small thing to ask.
I kinda disagree with what the article is saying though. If you really want to make a difference, vegan- not vegetarian- is really the only way to go. Vegetarians still eat eggs, cheese, and milk products, which means that the farms will still continue to exist. Erase the demand, erase the problem.
OH HAPPY DAY!
P.S. I completely agree Angel. Gameday. Hellz yeah! Oh- and I don't think it was the cat that got the milk spit at her... it was the little girl. Hehe.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
You Know Who You Are
You.
I see you.
Don't act like you can't hear me.
I adore you. I worship you. I love you.
This is the thanks I get?
Don't walk away from me while I'm talking to you.
I spend endless hours at work making money for you.
When I come home, I make dinner for you.
I shower you with affection, even if I'm tired, drained, distraught.
I sleep on the far side of the bed! FOR YOU!
I never ask for anything in return.
I don't ask for appreciation.
I don't DARE ask for love...
but dammit, I'd hoped at least our relationship was beyond That.
Poop INSIDE the litter box you %&#*@$ CAT!
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How pathetic. You couldn't even look at the camera for our family picture. I despise you.
I see you.
Don't act like you can't hear me.
I adore you. I worship you. I love you.
This is the thanks I get?
Don't walk away from me while I'm talking to you.
I spend endless hours at work making money for you.
When I come home, I make dinner for you.
I shower you with affection, even if I'm tired, drained, distraught.
I sleep on the far side of the bed! FOR YOU!
I never ask for anything in return.
I don't ask for appreciation.
I don't DARE ask for love...
but dammit, I'd hoped at least our relationship was beyond That.
Poop INSIDE the litter box you %&#*@$ CAT!
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How pathetic. You couldn't even look at the camera for our family picture. I despise you.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
MY HERO!!
Her name is Sofia Boutella. She breakdances.
Girl crush.
I'm so in awe. I wanna be her. Breakdancing has always been something I was interested in... kids in school used to breakdance during lunch and I would watch from afar, staring wonderously at these magical beasts of motion. Juan used to do it in college, too, and I would gasp and stare and be jealous of all the things he could do that I was too afraid to try. Then I saw Sofia's video on youtube last week and I realised- I can do that! So I started to.
For the last couple days I've been practicing... standing on my hands and building upper body strength is mainly where my concentration has been so far. It would be so cool to start on the floor moves after that- I can't wait! I netflixed videos (because I'm poor and cant afford classes) on breakdancing, and those should be coming in *gasp* tomorrow. How awesome. My body tingles with anticipation.
I wanna be a BGirl!
On Random News:
THIS is awesome.
So is THIS update on the UCLA taser "incident."
And THIS is just, well, damn interesting.
Life Notes: Bad in the beginning, but good in the end.
- I fell out of love today. It was quick, but not painless. Actually- it was quite the opposite. It hurt. A lot. I've only really been in love twice... I know I say I'm in love a lot, but I'm an expert exaggerater and usually when I say I'm in love I'm only infatuated. A few weeks later I've forgotten my infatuation because, most likely, it's been replaced by a new one.
This one was different. This one was LOVE.
When I got up in the morning I would think of him. I would dress carefully, and dress well (even comb my hair and put on makeup!), so that I could be the type of woman he would be attracted to. I started hobbies and gained more knowledge, so as to be an interesting person to be around. I HAD A LIFE, so that mine seemed more whole and appealing.
I made myself a better person. For him.
Every second of my day was lived for him. My future was worth planning- for him. I even *gasp* started seriously thinking about family and marriage. For him.
And then the bubble burst.
I can tell you when. I can probably even tell you how. What I can't tell you is why. It just happened. One minute I was in love, and the next minute there was a dark inside me that grew and grew until I could no longer breathe. My life before that moment suddenly became worthless, and my dreams for my life after were without warning violently erased.
I was left, gasping on the floor, with nothing to hold on to but my own empty shell.
to make matters worse:
- I had forgotten myself. Peter and I spent the night tonight discussing many things, most of which centered around religion. His girlfriend is extremely religious, and up until now he hasn't been too knowledgeable about anything of that field. To help him learn more she bought him a Bible for his birthday, and he brought it out to read me some proverbs that he found interesting... and hearing him read them made me very sad.
I remember when I used to care about being good.
When I was little I read all the time. If I didn't have a new book (which was often) I would re-read the books in my house. One of my favorite things to read was a big old brown book of stories for children dealing with morals and how to be a good person. The stories inside were fairytale-ish, so it didn't seem like preaching to me, but they always ended with a moral or lesson of some sort. Kind of like Aesop's Fables, where messages saying "One Good Thing Deserves Another" appeared at the end of each tale. I remember sitting on my bed, my lamp burning a hole in the dark, and thinking "I need to work harder on being truthful" or "I need to make sure I'm nicer to everyone." I was genuinely affected by this and would make an effort the next day to BE GOOD. Not be good at writing. Not be good at math. Be good AS A PERSON.
I had forgotten that. In my efforts to be cool, worldly, or "more adult" in college (and even now) I hid away something that was very important to me. My heros became rough necks with guns or loners who could kick ass. I confused my admiration for their self confidence (of which I had none myself) as an admiration for their character traits- i.e. she's cool because she says "Son of a bitch!" and carries a big stick. I despised being called innocent and naive and thought cursing and toughness would cure me of my 'illness'.
What I was really doing was disguising what made me me because I thought "Me" wasn't cutting it.
I was wrong. I have been too concerned about the wrong things. The outside things. My success as a person isn't measured by how many films I've done- it's measured by how many people I've helped. By how understanding I am towards someone who is having a bad day, or how honest I can be with the people around me.
I listened to Peter and I was sad. I used to be good, but now I have a long way to go.
*sigh*
Depressing, right? Weird, because today wasn't an all around bad day... actually it was very good. I was sick so I got to stay home, and I spent some quality time with my roomies. I also continued writing the children's book I've been working on.
Oh- BTW- I'm working on a children's book. I didn't tell you before because I thought being excited about it would jinx the whole thing and I would stop working on it after a week, but I've been pretty good. I've been writing almost every day. My self-imposed due date is the end of Jan/early Feb, and the illustrations will be done in June. I'm shooting for Christmas/early 2008 release.
You know- now that I think about it I'm actually pretty happy. Don't get me wrong- I ran to the store and ate a whole carton of soy ice cream after the 'out of love' thing (and will probably be silently depressed for quite some time), but as a whole I think I'm pretty ok.
I guess I'm so happy about writing that even a broken heart can't completely destroy my joy. Random. I can see why guys find girl emotions so confusing.
This one was different. This one was LOVE.
When I got up in the morning I would think of him. I would dress carefully, and dress well (even comb my hair and put on makeup!), so that I could be the type of woman he would be attracted to. I started hobbies and gained more knowledge, so as to be an interesting person to be around. I HAD A LIFE, so that mine seemed more whole and appealing.
I made myself a better person. For him.
Every second of my day was lived for him. My future was worth planning- for him. I even *gasp* started seriously thinking about family and marriage. For him.
And then the bubble burst.
I can tell you when. I can probably even tell you how. What I can't tell you is why. It just happened. One minute I was in love, and the next minute there was a dark inside me that grew and grew until I could no longer breathe. My life before that moment suddenly became worthless, and my dreams for my life after were without warning violently erased.
I was left, gasping on the floor, with nothing to hold on to but my own empty shell.
to make matters worse:
- I had forgotten myself. Peter and I spent the night tonight discussing many things, most of which centered around religion. His girlfriend is extremely religious, and up until now he hasn't been too knowledgeable about anything of that field. To help him learn more she bought him a Bible for his birthday, and he brought it out to read me some proverbs that he found interesting... and hearing him read them made me very sad.
I remember when I used to care about being good.
When I was little I read all the time. If I didn't have a new book (which was often) I would re-read the books in my house. One of my favorite things to read was a big old brown book of stories for children dealing with morals and how to be a good person. The stories inside were fairytale-ish, so it didn't seem like preaching to me, but they always ended with a moral or lesson of some sort. Kind of like Aesop's Fables, where messages saying "One Good Thing Deserves Another" appeared at the end of each tale. I remember sitting on my bed, my lamp burning a hole in the dark, and thinking "I need to work harder on being truthful" or "I need to make sure I'm nicer to everyone." I was genuinely affected by this and would make an effort the next day to BE GOOD. Not be good at writing. Not be good at math. Be good AS A PERSON.
I had forgotten that. In my efforts to be cool, worldly, or "more adult" in college (and even now) I hid away something that was very important to me. My heros became rough necks with guns or loners who could kick ass. I confused my admiration for their self confidence (of which I had none myself) as an admiration for their character traits- i.e. she's cool because she says "Son of a bitch!" and carries a big stick. I despised being called innocent and naive and thought cursing and toughness would cure me of my 'illness'.
What I was really doing was disguising what made me me because I thought "Me" wasn't cutting it.
I was wrong. I have been too concerned about the wrong things. The outside things. My success as a person isn't measured by how many films I've done- it's measured by how many people I've helped. By how understanding I am towards someone who is having a bad day, or how honest I can be with the people around me.
I listened to Peter and I was sad. I used to be good, but now I have a long way to go.
*sigh*
Depressing, right? Weird, because today wasn't an all around bad day... actually it was very good. I was sick so I got to stay home, and I spent some quality time with my roomies. I also continued writing the children's book I've been working on.
Oh- BTW- I'm working on a children's book. I didn't tell you before because I thought being excited about it would jinx the whole thing and I would stop working on it after a week, but I've been pretty good. I've been writing almost every day. My self-imposed due date is the end of Jan/early Feb, and the illustrations will be done in June. I'm shooting for Christmas/early 2008 release.
You know- now that I think about it I'm actually pretty happy. Don't get me wrong- I ran to the store and ate a whole carton of soy ice cream after the 'out of love' thing (and will probably be silently depressed for quite some time), but as a whole I think I'm pretty ok.
I guess I'm so happy about writing that even a broken heart can't completely destroy my joy. Random. I can see why guys find girl emotions so confusing.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Powers of Assumption
I was very awkward growing up, and any kind of public embarrasment would instill itself so solidly in my mind that even now- even though I'm a little more confident, a little more self assured- they still resonate through my life.
Take the case of Mrs. _____'s high school "distance learning" class. Sam Houston High School, being as it were very much ghetto, did get props for having access to high technology. I got to try my hand at 3D animation while I was there, as well as some semblance of neanderthalic film cameras.
I even got to be in their first ever Distance Learning experiment.
Distance Learning is, in all sense of the word, that. 2 classes from 2 different locations (for us, 2 classes at 2 different schools in the same school district) would share lessons via satellite by using strategically placed cameras & microphones at the head of each student's desk, wired to big screen TVs at the front of the classroom. A single teacher would then switch, spending a week at each school and transfering over the next week.
So any kind of public embarrasment to be had was- because fate is always funny- doubled.
I remember walking into class the second week of school. We had our first paper due and, being a thorough student, I had gone all out and put complete headings on mine, considering that every teacher that semester swore allegence to the 'headings' way of life. Mrs. ______ called roll and with each person's name we had to turn in our paper. My last name starts with a B, so I was ready when she called me first.
"What is this?" she asked, looking down at my masterpiece.
"It's my assignment." I said.
"This heading is all wrong. I need a cover page."
Floored, but for only a split second, I shrugged "whatever, ok", sounded an apology, and sat down. My thinking: So I made a mistake... her curriculum in no way stated "Essay Format Rules", but I'll do better next time. Oops.
Somewhere in my heart I like to fantasize that when Mrs. ______ was very little she was terrorized at night by the "Whatever Man." I have hopes that he hid in her closet and shocked her at all hours of the night with horrific images of post-pubescence shrugging off her every word. It is the only logical explanation to the look of disgust she proceeded to form on her face.
"Everyone take note of Ms. Berdin's attitude today." She said, making sure to frame the main classroom camera into a close up of my shocked face. "Don't think that you can turn in work however you want and I'll just be happy to get it."
Fury.
"What are you talking about?" I said.
"You did the assignment wrong, Ms. Berdin." A sea of faces, all familiar, turned towards me. A wave of new ones repeated the action on the big screen.
"How did I do it wrong? Because I didn't put a cover page? Every other teacher in this school
has format instructions for HEADINGS in their curriculum, and since you didn't I only assumed-"
Her hand went up. I stopped, and she strutted over to the magnetic board with the motion censor camera following her every move. In big letters, she jotted:
to ASSUME
makes an
ASS out of U and ME
And so goes my American high school education.
I am reminded of that episode because I spent some time watching the LA filipino channel today. I'm an idiot, and don't speak tagalog, but it was nice hearing the words so I kept the volume up real loud and pretended to understand. After a while I started to, and on one of their shows a roundtable discussion began about whether or not American-raised filipino kids were ruder than their homeland counterparts.
And a statement jumped out at me.
"In the Philippines, children are raised to assume. If a mother asks her son to take the clothes out of the dryer, it is assumed that the son will fold them and put them away. If a father is bringing groceries out of the car, it is assumed (by both parties) that the child will help.
In America, though, children are raised to be instructed. If a mother asks her son to take out the clothes, she must then instruct her son to fold them or he will not know he needs to do it. If the father does not ask for his child's help with the groceries, the child will not see a need to do so.
The conflict comes when Filipinos from the homeland bring values that their children are not exposed to here. A mother will think her son is rude for not folding the clothes, while the son will think his requested work is done and merely not understand why the mother is angry."
Validation.
I am not saying an American upbringing is wrong- I am American, and I at times fit into both molds from the examples above. I am very proud of the American in me (as much as I am of the Filipino), and idiotic sayings from ignorant teachers such as Mrs. _____ will not make me believe that all of America lacks the talent of assumption. But in MY upbringing I was raised to not need guidance when it comes to my work. My bosses have always praised me on the fact that I can pick up on problem areas at the office and start motions to getting them corrected- all without needing to be told- while others will wait for their instruction. It's an obvious thing to me where in others it might be alien, and apparently it's because of the culture that raised me.
And so the power that I hold, the power of assumption that got me public ridicule in Mrs. _____'s Distance Learning class all those years ago, is the same power that gives me praise and credibility in all the projects that I undertake now.
And now I don't look at that ridicule as a failure made by me, but as a triumph. I'm no longer embarrased.
I can't tell you anymore stories about our beloved Mrs. _____, because halfway through the semester I got fed up and dropped out of her class. Actually, I dropped out of school entirely, opting for my GED instead. It wasn't because of her- I don't want to flatter her in thinking my life was ruled by her snide remarks- but many other things put together (and THAT subject, analyzing the public school phenomena, wont be brought up here). Later, on my final visit to the school counselor to sign over my independence, in a last ditch effort to keep me afloat she dropped a folder in my lap.
"It's an invitation to meet the President of the United States. Only 2 students were picked out of our school to go this year, out of only 5 students in our district. You were one of them."
I said no thanks.
I was through with it, done with it all. I reasoned that sometime in my life I would be offered to meet more important people, and those could make up for the one I had to miss then. But, out of curiosity, I opened the folder. Inside were testimonials of my hard work, community efforts, and social respectability from teachers I knew and- surprisingly- teachers I had never met. A required 20 testimonials were needed for application submission to meet the President, and I had 32. Personally, I only knew 10 of the people whose letters lay in my hand. Everyone else had written with blind faith.
How's that for assumption?
Take the case of Mrs. _____'s high school "distance learning" class. Sam Houston High School, being as it were very much ghetto, did get props for having access to high technology. I got to try my hand at 3D animation while I was there, as well as some semblance of neanderthalic film cameras.
I even got to be in their first ever Distance Learning experiment.
Distance Learning is, in all sense of the word, that. 2 classes from 2 different locations (for us, 2 classes at 2 different schools in the same school district) would share lessons via satellite by using strategically placed cameras & microphones at the head of each student's desk, wired to big screen TVs at the front of the classroom. A single teacher would then switch, spending a week at each school and transfering over the next week.
So any kind of public embarrasment to be had was- because fate is always funny- doubled.
I remember walking into class the second week of school. We had our first paper due and, being a thorough student, I had gone all out and put complete headings on mine, considering that every teacher that semester swore allegence to the 'headings' way of life. Mrs. ______ called roll and with each person's name we had to turn in our paper. My last name starts with a B, so I was ready when she called me first.
"What is this?" she asked, looking down at my masterpiece.
"It's my assignment." I said.
"This heading is all wrong. I need a cover page."
Floored, but for only a split second, I shrugged "whatever, ok", sounded an apology, and sat down. My thinking: So I made a mistake... her curriculum in no way stated "Essay Format Rules", but I'll do better next time. Oops.
Somewhere in my heart I like to fantasize that when Mrs. ______ was very little she was terrorized at night by the "Whatever Man." I have hopes that he hid in her closet and shocked her at all hours of the night with horrific images of post-pubescence shrugging off her every word. It is the only logical explanation to the look of disgust she proceeded to form on her face.
"Everyone take note of Ms. Berdin's attitude today." She said, making sure to frame the main classroom camera into a close up of my shocked face. "Don't think that you can turn in work however you want and I'll just be happy to get it."
Fury.
"What are you talking about?" I said.
"You did the assignment wrong, Ms. Berdin." A sea of faces, all familiar, turned towards me. A wave of new ones repeated the action on the big screen.
"How did I do it wrong? Because I didn't put a cover page? Every other teacher in this school
has format instructions for HEADINGS in their curriculum, and since you didn't I only assumed-"
Her hand went up. I stopped, and she strutted over to the magnetic board with the motion censor camera following her every move. In big letters, she jotted:
to ASSUME
makes an
ASS out of U and ME
And so goes my American high school education.
I am reminded of that episode because I spent some time watching the LA filipino channel today. I'm an idiot, and don't speak tagalog, but it was nice hearing the words so I kept the volume up real loud and pretended to understand. After a while I started to, and on one of their shows a roundtable discussion began about whether or not American-raised filipino kids were ruder than their homeland counterparts.
And a statement jumped out at me.
"In the Philippines, children are raised to assume. If a mother asks her son to take the clothes out of the dryer, it is assumed that the son will fold them and put them away. If a father is bringing groceries out of the car, it is assumed (by both parties) that the child will help.
In America, though, children are raised to be instructed. If a mother asks her son to take out the clothes, she must then instruct her son to fold them or he will not know he needs to do it. If the father does not ask for his child's help with the groceries, the child will not see a need to do so.
The conflict comes when Filipinos from the homeland bring values that their children are not exposed to here. A mother will think her son is rude for not folding the clothes, while the son will think his requested work is done and merely not understand why the mother is angry."
Validation.
I am not saying an American upbringing is wrong- I am American, and I at times fit into both molds from the examples above. I am very proud of the American in me (as much as I am of the Filipino), and idiotic sayings from ignorant teachers such as Mrs. _____ will not make me believe that all of America lacks the talent of assumption. But in MY upbringing I was raised to not need guidance when it comes to my work. My bosses have always praised me on the fact that I can pick up on problem areas at the office and start motions to getting them corrected- all without needing to be told- while others will wait for their instruction. It's an obvious thing to me where in others it might be alien, and apparently it's because of the culture that raised me.
And so the power that I hold, the power of assumption that got me public ridicule in Mrs. _____'s Distance Learning class all those years ago, is the same power that gives me praise and credibility in all the projects that I undertake now.
And now I don't look at that ridicule as a failure made by me, but as a triumph. I'm no longer embarrased.
I can't tell you anymore stories about our beloved Mrs. _____, because halfway through the semester I got fed up and dropped out of her class. Actually, I dropped out of school entirely, opting for my GED instead. It wasn't because of her- I don't want to flatter her in thinking my life was ruled by her snide remarks- but many other things put together (and THAT subject, analyzing the public school phenomena, wont be brought up here). Later, on my final visit to the school counselor to sign over my independence, in a last ditch effort to keep me afloat she dropped a folder in my lap.
"It's an invitation to meet the President of the United States. Only 2 students were picked out of our school to go this year, out of only 5 students in our district. You were one of them."
I said no thanks.
I was through with it, done with it all. I reasoned that sometime in my life I would be offered to meet more important people, and those could make up for the one I had to miss then. But, out of curiosity, I opened the folder. Inside were testimonials of my hard work, community efforts, and social respectability from teachers I knew and- surprisingly- teachers I had never met. A required 20 testimonials were needed for application submission to meet the President, and I had 32. Personally, I only knew 10 of the people whose letters lay in my hand. Everyone else had written with blind faith.
How's that for assumption?
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Please God, Not another one
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
But you can dip your feet, every once and a little while
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
I've been typing, and subsequently erasing what I've typed, for the last 30 minutes. I want to find an eloquent way of describing how amazing my week at home was for the holidays, but there really is only one way I can put it.
I didn't want to leave.
It wasn't so much being in Texas (god love me if I insult Texas, but it's no LA), nor was it some amazing, unique adventure; or an exciting, exhilarating ride... it was just...
*sigh*
I dunno... how can I explain this where you'd understand?...
There's that moment- that split second- after you've fallen, or been punched, or sneezed too hard; that silent second in life when you are suddenly surrounded by brilliant bubbles of light. You "see stars". They swim through your vision in flickering flashes, and the more your try to focus on individual pieces the more the whole bunch allude your grasp.
And when you finally come to everything has disappeared and what is left is a little less of what you thought it was, because it can never be what you just saw.
... does that make any sense?
haha sorry :) I'll get to the pictures now...
THE UNVIELING!
Finally, people the world over get to experience the exquisite beauty that is Cameron Addison Byrd. Look at her folks... isn't she lovely? Actually... aren't ALL of my nieces lovely? I have a faint suspicion that they are the reason songs get sung.
And of course... they wouldn't be so great if it weren't for THE GREATEST FAMILY IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. (Thanks Juan for the brilliant photography):
My family is amazing. I don't know if I ever mentioned before, but I was terrified of coming home because of how hard it would be to say no to all of the Filipino food I couldn't eat. But I didn't have to! My parents ROCK. They had tofu, and chicken and ham substitutes, and vegan takeout, and edible snacks- I probably ate more in that week then I have in a whole year. And it was nice being around them... I forgot how much I missed seeing them in front of me. I love you guys!
I think about 98.9% of my time was spent with my neices. No, I'm wrong... more like 99.9999999% (I forgot to include the EVERY WAKING MOMENT stuff in my last calculation.) I mostly spent it with Keianna, painting her room, building her trampoline, and being guardian extraordinare at Six Flags. I could complain (and I did) but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't some of the most fun I've ever had.
BTW, if my own Dad weren't already the Greatest Dad In Life I would say that Keianna had him. BK spent his whole Tuesday making that trampoline (in of itself a feat that should be included in Herculean definition). And get this: he did it while listening to Keianna's latest Disney pop CD on REPEAT.
Repeat, folks. THATS Herculean.
Side note: RIP Super NoHoVas. My beloved black and blue striped shoes got muddy during the building and Keianna and I placed them in the washing machine for a cleaning... only to find 6 miniature shoe parts after the first cycle was done.
A Moment of Silence.
Anywhoo... I realized lately that my poor camera hasn't been getting any play. I didn't take half as many pictures as I should have this year, but I guess that just proves how great a time I had. For instance, I had a blast during unwrapping time, but the only photos I took were after the fact, when my parents were inspecting theirs:
Daddy got a new digital camera (I expect to see more pictures now for you at home!) and Mommy got a foot massager (which she promptly returned the next day... hehe sorry Mommy).
My Christmas present? I got to spend some time with old (dear) friends. Christmas morning I went to the Meals on Wheels thingy I mentioned before- and guess who accompanied me? Juan!
Poor Juan... ignoring his advice, on one of our last deliveries I decided Mommy's minivan could handle the mud, and instead I expertly got stuck in it. Juan's so lovely, he got out to try and push, but the van didn't budge. Luckily our current Meals and Wheels recipient just happened to be a (?)retired(?) tow truck driver, and he helped us out of the hole.
I had so much fun during Meals on Wheels: I advise anyone interested to venture into that territory (especially if you have such an awesome friend with you). We were given two coolers (one with warm meals, another with milk and snacks) and a big box of gifts to hand out. Then they handed us a list of places to go and sent us on our way. It was great- and pretty heartwarming, since most of the people we delivered food to werent actually spending their Christmas alone.
Some were, though. :( And one lady asked us to come visit her later... I wish I remember where she lived...
Our last lady (Gloria?) was probably one of our first, but she didn't answer the door when we originally came so we went back. The tow truck guy took the last gift bag, milk & cookies (apparently we were short), so we stopped by a gas station and bought her a flower and some cookies. She was sweet too.
Juan spent Christmas day with us (his family celebrates it the night before). It was cool... after all the presents and stuff we went bowling/gaming at Main Event, and TRIED to play Ryan's Atari (we kept dying hehe).
I got to finally hang out with Chau, too... and she's one that I haven't seen in ages. Lucas, Chau and babies (can you believe that she has TWO?!) came up all the way from Austin to say hello. I had to stop myself from going back down with them. God. I remember meeting Chau in first grade (we bonded because we were the only people in class that read books for fun). She hasn't changed at all- she's still the same happy girl I've always loved (though no longer little, and no longer a girl).
I got to hang out with Bran and Dominic too... but I'm so dumb- I forgot to take pictures! Brandi has a new apartment in Lewisville that she shares with Kevin and Jared (I finally got to meet Jared), and it's really cute. Her dog- well, not so much... but that's ok :) Of all my friends from my Arlington life Brandi is the one I am closest with, and it showed the night I visited her. We didn't really do anything- we didn't have to. It was just nice being near each other again.
I'm coming back in July, for a month. I promise. I will be there for your wedding.
I also hung out with Dominic (albeit for only a couple hours). haha- good ol' Dominic. He's finishing college, and is gonna try for a master's degree in buisness. (He also says "Hi Angel & Bim!").
New Years was a blast too... Juan was nice enough to let me tag along with he and his sister (and her jolly good fellow boyfriend Matt- who is the most lovely "corpulent" man I've ever met hehe {not at all}). And I finally got to meet The Nephew! We'd heard about it all during college, and he's delicious! He reminds me of Lance and Cef when they were little and we would play Ninja Turtles on the stairs.
I miss hanging out with Juan. I miss hanging out with all of them: the brave few who came into my life and became my friends. Christmas and New Years made me realize that more than anything. I secluded myself a little too much last year... let's not do it again this time around.
...
Well... that's the bare bones of it. I'm reading it now and it's nothing like it was- what I wrote is just the skeletal remains of it. But that's ok- It's mine to have and bringing it out will only kill it more.
Resolutions:
Just one. Finish something.
I hope everyone had as great a time as I did. If you had half as much fun then that means you had the world.
I've been typing, and subsequently erasing what I've typed, for the last 30 minutes. I want to find an eloquent way of describing how amazing my week at home was for the holidays, but there really is only one way I can put it.
I didn't want to leave.
It wasn't so much being in Texas (god love me if I insult Texas, but it's no LA), nor was it some amazing, unique adventure; or an exciting, exhilarating ride... it was just...
*sigh*
I dunno... how can I explain this where you'd understand?...
There's that moment- that split second- after you've fallen, or been punched, or sneezed too hard; that silent second in life when you are suddenly surrounded by brilliant bubbles of light. You "see stars". They swim through your vision in flickering flashes, and the more your try to focus on individual pieces the more the whole bunch allude your grasp.
And when you finally come to everything has disappeared and what is left is a little less of what you thought it was, because it can never be what you just saw.
... does that make any sense?
haha sorry :) I'll get to the pictures now...
THE UNVIELING!
Finally, people the world over get to experience the exquisite beauty that is Cameron Addison Byrd. Look at her folks... isn't she lovely? Actually... aren't ALL of my nieces lovely? I have a faint suspicion that they are the reason songs get sung.
And of course... they wouldn't be so great if it weren't for THE GREATEST FAMILY IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. (Thanks Juan for the brilliant photography):
My family is amazing. I don't know if I ever mentioned before, but I was terrified of coming home because of how hard it would be to say no to all of the Filipino food I couldn't eat. But I didn't have to! My parents ROCK. They had tofu, and chicken and ham substitutes, and vegan takeout, and edible snacks- I probably ate more in that week then I have in a whole year. And it was nice being around them... I forgot how much I missed seeing them in front of me. I love you guys!
I think about 98.9% of my time was spent with my neices. No, I'm wrong... more like 99.9999999% (I forgot to include the EVERY WAKING MOMENT stuff in my last calculation.) I mostly spent it with Keianna, painting her room, building her trampoline, and being guardian extraordinare at Six Flags. I could complain (and I did) but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't some of the most fun I've ever had.
BTW, if my own Dad weren't already the Greatest Dad In Life I would say that Keianna had him. BK spent his whole Tuesday making that trampoline (in of itself a feat that should be included in Herculean definition). And get this: he did it while listening to Keianna's latest Disney pop CD on REPEAT.
Repeat, folks. THATS Herculean.
Side note: RIP Super NoHoVas. My beloved black and blue striped shoes got muddy during the building and Keianna and I placed them in the washing machine for a cleaning... only to find 6 miniature shoe parts after the first cycle was done.
A Moment of Silence.
Anywhoo... I realized lately that my poor camera hasn't been getting any play. I didn't take half as many pictures as I should have this year, but I guess that just proves how great a time I had. For instance, I had a blast during unwrapping time, but the only photos I took were after the fact, when my parents were inspecting theirs:
Daddy got a new digital camera (I expect to see more pictures now for you at home!) and Mommy got a foot massager (which she promptly returned the next day... hehe sorry Mommy).
My Christmas present? I got to spend some time with old (dear) friends. Christmas morning I went to the Meals on Wheels thingy I mentioned before- and guess who accompanied me? Juan!
Poor Juan... ignoring his advice, on one of our last deliveries I decided Mommy's minivan could handle the mud, and instead I expertly got stuck in it. Juan's so lovely, he got out to try and push, but the van didn't budge. Luckily our current Meals and Wheels recipient just happened to be a (?)retired(?) tow truck driver, and he helped us out of the hole.
I had so much fun during Meals on Wheels: I advise anyone interested to venture into that territory (especially if you have such an awesome friend with you). We were given two coolers (one with warm meals, another with milk and snacks) and a big box of gifts to hand out. Then they handed us a list of places to go and sent us on our way. It was great- and pretty heartwarming, since most of the people we delivered food to werent actually spending their Christmas alone.
Some were, though. :( And one lady asked us to come visit her later... I wish I remember where she lived...
Our last lady (Gloria?) was probably one of our first, but she didn't answer the door when we originally came so we went back. The tow truck guy took the last gift bag, milk & cookies (apparently we were short), so we stopped by a gas station and bought her a flower and some cookies. She was sweet too.
Juan spent Christmas day with us (his family celebrates it the night before). It was cool... after all the presents and stuff we went bowling/gaming at Main Event, and TRIED to play Ryan's Atari (we kept dying hehe).
I got to finally hang out with Chau, too... and she's one that I haven't seen in ages. Lucas, Chau and babies (can you believe that she has TWO?!) came up all the way from Austin to say hello. I had to stop myself from going back down with them. God. I remember meeting Chau in first grade (we bonded because we were the only people in class that read books for fun). She hasn't changed at all- she's still the same happy girl I've always loved (though no longer little, and no longer a girl).
I got to hang out with Bran and Dominic too... but I'm so dumb- I forgot to take pictures! Brandi has a new apartment in Lewisville that she shares with Kevin and Jared (I finally got to meet Jared), and it's really cute. Her dog- well, not so much... but that's ok :) Of all my friends from my Arlington life Brandi is the one I am closest with, and it showed the night I visited her. We didn't really do anything- we didn't have to. It was just nice being near each other again.
I'm coming back in July, for a month. I promise. I will be there for your wedding.
I also hung out with Dominic (albeit for only a couple hours). haha- good ol' Dominic. He's finishing college, and is gonna try for a master's degree in buisness. (He also says "Hi Angel & Bim!").
New Years was a blast too... Juan was nice enough to let me tag along with he and his sister (and her jolly good fellow boyfriend Matt- who is the most lovely "corpulent" man I've ever met hehe {not at all}). And I finally got to meet The Nephew! We'd heard about it all during college, and he's delicious! He reminds me of Lance and Cef when they were little and we would play Ninja Turtles on the stairs.
I miss hanging out with Juan. I miss hanging out with all of them: the brave few who came into my life and became my friends. Christmas and New Years made me realize that more than anything. I secluded myself a little too much last year... let's not do it again this time around.
...
Well... that's the bare bones of it. I'm reading it now and it's nothing like it was- what I wrote is just the skeletal remains of it. But that's ok- It's mine to have and bringing it out will only kill it more.
Resolutions:
Just one. Finish something.
I hope everyone had as great a time as I did. If you had half as much fun then that means you had the world.
Friday, December 15, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMERON ADDISON BYRD!!!
Hazel and BK had another baby today!! YAY!!
(Mommy- does this mean I don't owe you any anymore?)
STATS
Sex: Female
Name: Cameron Addison Byrd
Weight: 8lbs and 13ounces
Height: 20inches
That's about all I know so far... as soon as I get pictures I'll put them up :) I'm going home in a week anyway, so maybe I'll just take my own!
Now that my heart is invested in 3 future adults, my devastation over the plight of the world has gone into overdrive. It doesn't help that we watched "Who Killed The Electric Car" today at the house.
Depressing. Really.
I cried. Louie- who had seen it already before- didn't, but he admitted to me that he was crying like a baby the first time he saw it. The futility is endless. On the way to work I almost decided to go on a Gandhi-esque media-heavy fast (of course- my overdramatic imagination made it into a "breaking world news" primetime event)... but that lead me to a heavier question.
What can we do?
It's time our generation started a revolution. Others before us have done it, why can't we? There are SO MANY THINGS going on that are SO WRONG... WE need to take control or nobody else will!
No, I didn't stay up watching 'V for Vendetta' all night. But I did just become an aunt 3 times over, and the welfare of the ones I love is worth it enough for me to care more than those who don't.
I'm busy this weekend with, ironicly, volunteer stuff (cleaning up a shelter for mistreated animals - yay! - and seeing if there are other homeless organizations in LA than those who say "Go to Skid Row") but once I'm done, I've got to figure this stuff out. I can't sit still until I know that there's something I (WE!) can do to help stop us from destroying ourselves.
(Mommy- does this mean I don't owe you any anymore?)
STATS
Sex: Female
Name: Cameron Addison Byrd
Weight: 8lbs and 13ounces
Height: 20inches
That's about all I know so far... as soon as I get pictures I'll put them up :) I'm going home in a week anyway, so maybe I'll just take my own!
Now that my heart is invested in 3 future adults, my devastation over the plight of the world has gone into overdrive. It doesn't help that we watched "Who Killed The Electric Car" today at the house.
Depressing. Really.
I cried. Louie- who had seen it already before- didn't, but he admitted to me that he was crying like a baby the first time he saw it. The futility is endless. On the way to work I almost decided to go on a Gandhi-esque media-heavy fast (of course- my overdramatic imagination made it into a "breaking world news" primetime event)... but that lead me to a heavier question.
What can we do?
It's time our generation started a revolution. Others before us have done it, why can't we? There are SO MANY THINGS going on that are SO WRONG... WE need to take control or nobody else will!
No, I didn't stay up watching 'V for Vendetta' all night. But I did just become an aunt 3 times over, and the welfare of the ones I love is worth it enough for me to care more than those who don't.
I'm busy this weekend with, ironicly, volunteer stuff (cleaning up a shelter for mistreated animals - yay! - and seeing if there are other homeless organizations in LA than those who say "Go to Skid Row") but once I'm done, I've got to figure this stuff out. I can't sit still until I know that there's something I (WE!) can do to help stop us from destroying ourselves.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
interested? come with me!
On Christmas Day (Monday, December 25, 2006) VNA Meals on Wheels will deliver hot meals to 2,500 homebound seniors and disabled persons throughout Dallas County. A central meal distribution point (1440 W. Mockingbird Dallas, TX 75247) will be used for volunteers to pick up their pre-assigned delivery routes between 8:30am and 9:30am. Volunteers will be given a map, client list, two food coolers (hot and cold foods), and a holiday gift bag for each client on their route. Once the route is finished the empty coolers are returned to the meal distribution point by noon. This is a great family opportunity! For many of our clients you will be the only person they see on Christmas Day. Help us make the holiday bright!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I'm human too
Being Vegan doesn't change that fact... SO LEAVE ME ALONE!
&$%#*!!!
I'm tired of ignorance, people. I know I have to learn to live with it, but sometimes- like now- it's just a little too much to handle. (Especially since, technically speaking, my humanity should not be in question here. Aren't I even more humane then someone who eats living creatures?)
And I don't care if you're not. Really, I don't. That's why I don't bring up that fact during conversation (unlike you). That's why I don't critique your food, or your life, and judge you by the way you live it (unlike you). Really... I don't even give a shit what you do with yourself- why do you care so much about me?
And (and I hate to say this) if it still bothers you THAT MUCH that I don't eat meat, just think of as a gift to you. You can have more now, because I don't want my share.
HAPPY?! GET OVER YOURSELF!
There are much more important things going on in the world right now that you should be worried about. Like, for instance: Genocide. Pollution. Poverty. Destruction. You are of the top 2% of all society in our world. Look outside yours, and see what's really going on.
God. Really... (unmentioned) ignorant people made me break my blog-fast, I'm so mad!
*sigh*
While I'm at it, I might as well do some Random Thoughts:
- I miss my blog, but I love my life :)
- Shannon and Roberto had a baby boy! Yay!
- Is it too late to sign up for environmentalist/activist/underground resistance leader? Where do I line up for that job?
- Mad Hot Ballroom. Hot.
- I changed my mind on the Peace Corps, yes, but technically I still have a year to turn in my application. I'm still filling it out. So I still have a year to change my mind back. Maybe I'll give it a chance after all...
- Our new Christmas tree is up and pretty at the Filmmaker House. I dubbed him Zissou :)
- New Hero: Wes Anderson. I've always loved him, but for some reason I've gotten closer to him in the last few weeks. Coen Brothers and Noah Baumbach aren't far behind, but Wes makes me cry happy tears.
- I've lost more weight as a vegan than I ever did before. I only have about 10 pounds to go until I reach my "normal" weight!
- This year I've decided instead of Christmas presents I'm donating money to charities of peoples' choice. If you'd like me to do that for you this Christmas, let me know :)
&$%#*!!!
I'm tired of ignorance, people. I know I have to learn to live with it, but sometimes- like now- it's just a little too much to handle. (Especially since, technically speaking, my humanity should not be in question here. Aren't I even more humane then someone who eats living creatures?)
And I don't care if you're not. Really, I don't. That's why I don't bring up that fact during conversation (unlike you). That's why I don't critique your food, or your life, and judge you by the way you live it (unlike you). Really... I don't even give a shit what you do with yourself- why do you care so much about me?
And (and I hate to say this) if it still bothers you THAT MUCH that I don't eat meat, just think of as a gift to you. You can have more now, because I don't want my share.
HAPPY?! GET OVER YOURSELF!
There are much more important things going on in the world right now that you should be worried about. Like, for instance: Genocide. Pollution. Poverty. Destruction. You are of the top 2% of all society in our world. Look outside yours, and see what's really going on.
God. Really... (unmentioned) ignorant people made me break my blog-fast, I'm so mad!
*sigh*
While I'm at it, I might as well do some Random Thoughts:
- I miss my blog, but I love my life :)
- Shannon and Roberto had a baby boy! Yay!
- Is it too late to sign up for environmentalist/activist/underground resistance leader? Where do I line up for that job?
- Mad Hot Ballroom. Hot.
- I changed my mind on the Peace Corps, yes, but technically I still have a year to turn in my application. I'm still filling it out. So I still have a year to change my mind back. Maybe I'll give it a chance after all...
- Our new Christmas tree is up and pretty at the Filmmaker House. I dubbed him Zissou :)
- New Hero: Wes Anderson. I've always loved him, but for some reason I've gotten closer to him in the last few weeks. Coen Brothers and Noah Baumbach aren't far behind, but Wes makes me cry happy tears.
- I've lost more weight as a vegan than I ever did before. I only have about 10 pounds to go until I reach my "normal" weight!
- This year I've decided instead of Christmas presents I'm donating money to charities of peoples' choice. If you'd like me to do that for you this Christmas, let me know :)
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Slight differences are no less different than big ones...
...and are usually much more noticeable.
I love my blog, more than I love myself. It gives me a freedom from myself yet, at the same time, brings me closer to me. Does that make any sense? I dunno. Unfortunately, despite it all, for reasons unexplained whenever big things happen in my life that are more worthy of being written about than most others, I stop writing.
And now, for a short while, it's gonna happen again.
I'm sorry guys, I can't explain... but hopefully I will write again very soon. So as not to leave you completely out in the proverbial cold:
Random Thoughts:
-The holidays get better every year.
-And colder.
-Happy Birthday Darryl, David & Bean! (The last of which, Mommy, explains a pricey sum on my bank account at the local bowling alley, as well as a Vegan resturant shortly thereafter)
-Also, while I'm at it- though my bank account reflects otherwise, I'm not going on a "eating out" rampage... I'm just paying back people who have paid for my meals before(since I have some extra dough).
-A clean room does wonders
-So does Mountain Dew (not in a good way)
-Foosball tournaments should be on the list of 'Things that can make people exhilarated and devastated at the same time'
-GO COWBOYS!
-Welcome back home Bran!
-RIP Rikka's brother(?)/uncle(?)/dad(?)... as well as the mother of the animal pyshic lady :(
-Shannon started a 2 week stay in the hospital on the day after Thanksgiving, so that the doctors can watch her and her (unborn)baby closely. Prayers for her, Roberto, and baby Bobby please!
-I would say prayers for Hazel, as well (who is due in the next few weeks), but SINCE SHE NEVER ANSWERS THE PHONE I can't tell you how it's going.
-Thanksgiving Day thanks: to the "supreme sky guy" who works overtime to make my veganism the easiest choice I ever made (go to www.certifiedhumane.com to see how I nixed my meat desires on Thanksgiving Day)
-Not to forget on Thanksgiving Day: you(Americans specifically) MUST look outside what America and it's government/big business-run news channels want you to see and open your eyes to what is actually happening. You have the internet. Use it.
-Lastly (because I hate to end this with a downer) I'm finally getting over the fact that I was born a girl. Who woulda thunk it?
I love my blog, more than I love myself. It gives me a freedom from myself yet, at the same time, brings me closer to me. Does that make any sense? I dunno. Unfortunately, despite it all, for reasons unexplained whenever big things happen in my life that are more worthy of being written about than most others, I stop writing.
And now, for a short while, it's gonna happen again.
I'm sorry guys, I can't explain... but hopefully I will write again very soon. So as not to leave you completely out in the proverbial cold:
Random Thoughts:
-The holidays get better every year.
-And colder.
-Happy Birthday Darryl, David & Bean! (The last of which, Mommy, explains a pricey sum on my bank account at the local bowling alley, as well as a Vegan resturant shortly thereafter)
-Also, while I'm at it- though my bank account reflects otherwise, I'm not going on a "eating out" rampage... I'm just paying back people who have paid for my meals before(since I have some extra dough).
-A clean room does wonders
-So does Mountain Dew (not in a good way)
-Foosball tournaments should be on the list of 'Things that can make people exhilarated and devastated at the same time'
-GO COWBOYS!
-Welcome back home Bran!
-RIP Rikka's brother(?)/uncle(?)/dad(?)... as well as the mother of the animal pyshic lady :(
-Shannon started a 2 week stay in the hospital on the day after Thanksgiving, so that the doctors can watch her and her (unborn)baby closely. Prayers for her, Roberto, and baby Bobby please!
-I would say prayers for Hazel, as well (who is due in the next few weeks), but SINCE SHE NEVER ANSWERS THE PHONE I can't tell you how it's going.
-Thanksgiving Day thanks: to the "supreme sky guy" who works overtime to make my veganism the easiest choice I ever made (go to www.certifiedhumane.com to see how I nixed my meat desires on Thanksgiving Day)
-Not to forget on Thanksgiving Day: you(Americans specifically) MUST look outside what America and it's government/big business-run news channels want you to see and open your eyes to what is actually happening. You have the internet. Use it.
-Lastly (because I hate to end this with a downer) I'm finally getting over the fact that I was born a girl. Who woulda thunk it?
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Community responds to Taser use in Powell
see corresponding video footage below
An incident late Tuesday night in which a UCLA student was stunned at least four times with a Taser has left the UCLA community questioning whether the university police officers' use of force was an appropriate response to the situation.
Mostafa Tabatabainejad, a UCLA student, was repeatedly stunned with a Taser and then taken into custody when he did not exit the CLICC Lab in Powell Library in a timely manner. Community Service Officers had asked Tabatabainejad to leave after he failed to produce his BruinCard during a random check at around 11:30 p.m. Tuesday.
UCPD Assistant Chief of Police Jeff Young said the checks are a standard procedure in the library after 11 p.m.
"Because of the safety of the students we limit the use after 11 to just students, staff and faculty," Young said.
Young said the CSOs on duty in the library at the time went to get UCPD officers when Tabatabainejad did not immediately leave, and UCPD officers resorted to use of the Taser when Tabatabainejad did not do as he was told.
A six-minute video showed Tabatabainejad audibly screaming in pain as he was stunned several times with a Taser, each time for three to five seconds. He was told repeatedly to stand up and stop fighting, and was told that if he did not do so he would "get Tased again."
Tabatabainejad was also stunned with the Taser when he was already handcuffed, said Carlos Zaragoza, a third-year English and history student who witnessed the incident.
"(He was) no possible danger to any of the police," Zaragoza said. "(He was) getting shocked and Tasered as he was handcuffed."
But Young said at the time the police likely had no way of knowing whether the individual was armed or that he was a student.
As Tabatabainejad was being dragged through the room by two officers, he repeated in a strained scream, "I'm not fighting you" and "I said I would leave."
The officers used the "drive stun" setting in the Taser, which delivers a shock to a specific part of the body with the front of the Taser, Young said.
A Taser delivers volts of low-amperage energy to the body, causing a disruption of the body's electrical energy pulses and locking the muscles, according to a report by the American Civil Liberties Union.
"It's an electrical shock. ... It causes pain," Young said, adding that the drive stun would not likely demobilize a person or cause residual pain after the shock was administered. Young also said a Taser is less forceful than a baton, for example.
But according to a study published in the Lancet Medical Journal in 2001, a charge of three to five seconds can result in immobilization for five to 15 minutes, which would mean that Tabatabainejad could have been physically unable to stand when the officers demanded that he do so.
"It is a real mistake to treat a Taser as some benign thing that painlessly brings people under control," said Peter Eliasberg, managing attorney at the ACLU of Southern California.
"The Taser can be incredibly violent and result in death," Eliasberg said.
According to an ACLU report, 148 people in the United States and Canada have died as a result of the use of Tasers since 1999.
During the altercation between Tabatabainejad and the officers, bystanders can be heard in the video repeatedly asking the officers to stop and requesting their names and identification numbers. The video showed one officer responding to a student by threatening that the student would "get Tased too." At this point, the officer was still holding a Taser.
Such a threat of the use of force by a law enforcement officer in response to a request for a badge number is an "illegal assault," Eliasberg said.
"It is absolutely illegal to threaten anyone who asks for a badge รข€" that's assault," he said.
Tabatabainejad was released from custody after being given a citation for obstruction/delay of a peace officer in the performance of duty.
Neither Tabatabainejad nor his family were giving interviews Wednesday.
Police officers said they determined the use of Tasers was necessary when Tabatabainejad did not do as they asked.
According to a UCPD press release, Tabatabainejad went limp and refused to exit as the officers attempted to escort him out. The release also stated Tabatabainejad "encouraged library patrons to join his resistance." At this point, the officers "deemed it necessary to use the Taser in a "drive stun' capacity."
"He wasn't cooperative; he wouldn't identify himself. He resisted the officers," Young said.
Neither the video footage nor eyewitness accounts of the events confirmed that Tabatabainejad encouraged resistance, and he repeatedly told the officers he was not fighting and would leave.
Tabatabainejad was walking with his backpack toward the door when he was approached by two UCPD officers, one of whom grabbed the student's arm. In response, Tabatabainejad yelled at the officers to "get off me." Following this demand, Tabatabainejad was stunned with a Taser.
UCPD and the UCLA administration would not comment on the specifics of the incident as it is still under investigation.
In a statement released Wednesday, Interim Chancellor Norman Abrams said investigators were reviewing the situation and the officers' actions.
"I can assure you that these reviews will be thorough, vigorous and fair," Abrams said.
The incident, which Zaragoza described as an example of "police brutality," left many students disturbed.
"I realize when looking at these kind of arrest tapes that they don't always show the full picture. ... But that six minutes that we can watch just seems like it's a ridiculous amount of force for someone being escorted because they forgot their BruinCard," said Ali Ghandour, a fourth-year anthropology student.
"It certainly makes you wonder if something as small as forgetting your BruinCard can eventually lead to getting Tased several times in front of the library," he added.
Edouard Tchertchian, a third-year mathematics student, said he was concerned that the student was not offered any other means of showing that he was a UCLA student.
An incident late Tuesday night in which a UCLA student was stunned at least four times with a Taser has left the UCLA community questioning whether the university police officers' use of force was an appropriate response to the situation.
Mostafa Tabatabainejad, a UCLA student, was repeatedly stunned with a Taser and then taken into custody when he did not exit the CLICC Lab in Powell Library in a timely manner. Community Service Officers had asked Tabatabainejad to leave after he failed to produce his BruinCard during a random check at around 11:30 p.m. Tuesday.
UCPD Assistant Chief of Police Jeff Young said the checks are a standard procedure in the library after 11 p.m.
"Because of the safety of the students we limit the use after 11 to just students, staff and faculty," Young said.
Young said the CSOs on duty in the library at the time went to get UCPD officers when Tabatabainejad did not immediately leave, and UCPD officers resorted to use of the Taser when Tabatabainejad did not do as he was told.
A six-minute video showed Tabatabainejad audibly screaming in pain as he was stunned several times with a Taser, each time for three to five seconds. He was told repeatedly to stand up and stop fighting, and was told that if he did not do so he would "get Tased again."
Tabatabainejad was also stunned with the Taser when he was already handcuffed, said Carlos Zaragoza, a third-year English and history student who witnessed the incident.
"(He was) no possible danger to any of the police," Zaragoza said. "(He was) getting shocked and Tasered as he was handcuffed."
But Young said at the time the police likely had no way of knowing whether the individual was armed or that he was a student.
As Tabatabainejad was being dragged through the room by two officers, he repeated in a strained scream, "I'm not fighting you" and "I said I would leave."
The officers used the "drive stun" setting in the Taser, which delivers a shock to a specific part of the body with the front of the Taser, Young said.
A Taser delivers volts of low-amperage energy to the body, causing a disruption of the body's electrical energy pulses and locking the muscles, according to a report by the American Civil Liberties Union.
"It's an electrical shock. ... It causes pain," Young said, adding that the drive stun would not likely demobilize a person or cause residual pain after the shock was administered. Young also said a Taser is less forceful than a baton, for example.
But according to a study published in the Lancet Medical Journal in 2001, a charge of three to five seconds can result in immobilization for five to 15 minutes, which would mean that Tabatabainejad could have been physically unable to stand when the officers demanded that he do so.
"It is a real mistake to treat a Taser as some benign thing that painlessly brings people under control," said Peter Eliasberg, managing attorney at the ACLU of Southern California.
"The Taser can be incredibly violent and result in death," Eliasberg said.
According to an ACLU report, 148 people in the United States and Canada have died as a result of the use of Tasers since 1999.
During the altercation between Tabatabainejad and the officers, bystanders can be heard in the video repeatedly asking the officers to stop and requesting their names and identification numbers. The video showed one officer responding to a student by threatening that the student would "get Tased too." At this point, the officer was still holding a Taser.
Such a threat of the use of force by a law enforcement officer in response to a request for a badge number is an "illegal assault," Eliasberg said.
"It is absolutely illegal to threaten anyone who asks for a badge รข€" that's assault," he said.
Tabatabainejad was released from custody after being given a citation for obstruction/delay of a peace officer in the performance of duty.
Neither Tabatabainejad nor his family were giving interviews Wednesday.
Police officers said they determined the use of Tasers was necessary when Tabatabainejad did not do as they asked.
According to a UCPD press release, Tabatabainejad went limp and refused to exit as the officers attempted to escort him out. The release also stated Tabatabainejad "encouraged library patrons to join his resistance." At this point, the officers "deemed it necessary to use the Taser in a "drive stun' capacity."
"He wasn't cooperative; he wouldn't identify himself. He resisted the officers," Young said.
Neither the video footage nor eyewitness accounts of the events confirmed that Tabatabainejad encouraged resistance, and he repeatedly told the officers he was not fighting and would leave.
Tabatabainejad was walking with his backpack toward the door when he was approached by two UCPD officers, one of whom grabbed the student's arm. In response, Tabatabainejad yelled at the officers to "get off me." Following this demand, Tabatabainejad was stunned with a Taser.
UCPD and the UCLA administration would not comment on the specifics of the incident as it is still under investigation.
In a statement released Wednesday, Interim Chancellor Norman Abrams said investigators were reviewing the situation and the officers' actions.
"I can assure you that these reviews will be thorough, vigorous and fair," Abrams said.
The incident, which Zaragoza described as an example of "police brutality," left many students disturbed.
"I realize when looking at these kind of arrest tapes that they don't always show the full picture. ... But that six minutes that we can watch just seems like it's a ridiculous amount of force for someone being escorted because they forgot their BruinCard," said Ali Ghandour, a fourth-year anthropology student.
"It certainly makes you wonder if something as small as forgetting your BruinCard can eventually lead to getting Tased several times in front of the library," he added.
Edouard Tchertchian, a third-year mathematics student, said he was concerned that the student was not offered any other means of showing that he was a UCLA student.
Sadness
An Iranian UCLA student is handcuffed then tasered for refusing to show school ID in the library.
Where is the news on this?
Where is the news on this?
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Life on Mars
Busy!
The last few days are a mash of mess in my memory... I can't decifer one from the other.
But I will try :)
Thursday
Come in early (10am) to shoot the E! Dr.90210 Christmas commercial. Italian producer Vivi came up with the idea and a bunch of us volunteered to come in and do it. OMG SO MUCH FUN! Studio B was set up pretty sparsely (white background, one main light and one fill light w/a boom). What I (and the others) had to do was step in front of the camera alone and say what we wanted for Christmas- plastic surgery-wise. I know, I know... the feminist/naturalist in me is dying slowly of torture for my intrepid acts, but the hollywood-hungry sellout in me is thrilled. Vivi gave us a list of things we could say, but also mentioned that we could make up things we thought were good.
Among the possible things to say on Vivi's list:
"I want botox on my temple"
"I want breast augmentation"
"I want a nose job"
Among the things ACTUALLY said during the shoot:
"I want implants on the small toe in my left foot"
"I want a round, perfectly shaped ass" (said with a VERY SERIOUS FACE by my big scottish bossman Stephen)
"I want anal bleaching, you know... to raise my confidence"
And, lastly, the things that I said:
"I want EVERYTHING"
"I want to augment my left buttock"
"I want to get rid of my 3rd nipple"
hehe :)
Also... my design for the Halloween Conference Room Bash helped the international department win 1st place among all of E!, and apparently some unexpected recognition. A promo producer came to my desk and asked if I could be the Art Director for a new commercial he was planning. The job? Create a miniature replica of the "Central Perk" from the tv show Friends for a hand puppet reinactment of the opening scene. Would I be interested?
Resounding: YES
Due Date: the following monday.
Panic. I stayed up until 5am wrestling with how I should do everything, and contemplating my design.
Friday
I came in early (again) to attend the screening party for the commercials. We all sat in Big Bonference Room 3A, ate snacks, and laughed hysterically at each person's turn. People would stop by the more we laughed... and soon there was a huge crowd. Awesome.
Had a small meeting with the commercial producer. He gave me relative creative freedom with only a few restrictions. An artist's dream!
Because of a technical error, worked until 4:30am. Bossman Bryan let me crash at his place, and then... bright and early at 10am on Saturday morning..
Saturday
.. came back to work to help with- of all things- ACCOUNTING. Bryan is the best boss ever- he bought us lunch for coming in. Finished at 3:30pm
4:30pm got home and straight from there started working on the set. I plopped down on the living room floor and made myself a permanent fixture to behold by all... Chris came in and joined me (he had a comic strip that was due with about the same amount of turnaround time) and we kept popping movie after movie into the dvd player to keep us company.
I collapsed and dragged myself to bed at 2am. I hadnt moved from the spot AT ALL.
Sunday
Woke up at 8am, showered, and resumed living room control. Again, Chris, movies, and work until about 3:30-4am. Again, never moving.
Monday
Deep, drowning despair. It's crunch time! Woke up at 9, worked until noon.... finally finished the main set pieces and the furniture. Then got ready for work and brought everything with me.
And the producer loved it!
And now I am working (til midnight, my usual shift) and then when I get home I need to do the finishing touches and be fresh and ready by 9am tomorrow, when we actually shoot the commercial.
All I want is to sleep.
...
And I'm starting to think that my choice to stay in LA was a good one. :)
The last few days are a mash of mess in my memory... I can't decifer one from the other.
But I will try :)
Thursday
Come in early (10am) to shoot the E! Dr.90210 Christmas commercial. Italian producer Vivi came up with the idea and a bunch of us volunteered to come in and do it. OMG SO MUCH FUN! Studio B was set up pretty sparsely (white background, one main light and one fill light w/a boom). What I (and the others) had to do was step in front of the camera alone and say what we wanted for Christmas- plastic surgery-wise. I know, I know... the feminist/naturalist in me is dying slowly of torture for my intrepid acts, but the hollywood-hungry sellout in me is thrilled. Vivi gave us a list of things we could say, but also mentioned that we could make up things we thought were good.
Among the possible things to say on Vivi's list:
"I want botox on my temple"
"I want breast augmentation"
"I want a nose job"
Among the things ACTUALLY said during the shoot:
"I want implants on the small toe in my left foot"
"I want a round, perfectly shaped ass" (said with a VERY SERIOUS FACE by my big scottish bossman Stephen)
"I want anal bleaching, you know... to raise my confidence"
And, lastly, the things that I said:
"I want EVERYTHING"
"I want to augment my left buttock"
"I want to get rid of my 3rd nipple"
hehe :)
Also... my design for the Halloween Conference Room Bash helped the international department win 1st place among all of E!, and apparently some unexpected recognition. A promo producer came to my desk and asked if I could be the Art Director for a new commercial he was planning. The job? Create a miniature replica of the "Central Perk" from the tv show Friends for a hand puppet reinactment of the opening scene. Would I be interested?
Resounding: YES
Due Date: the following monday.
Panic. I stayed up until 5am wrestling with how I should do everything, and contemplating my design.
Friday
I came in early (again) to attend the screening party for the commercials. We all sat in Big Bonference Room 3A, ate snacks, and laughed hysterically at each person's turn. People would stop by the more we laughed... and soon there was a huge crowd. Awesome.
Had a small meeting with the commercial producer. He gave me relative creative freedom with only a few restrictions. An artist's dream!
Because of a technical error, worked until 4:30am. Bossman Bryan let me crash at his place, and then... bright and early at 10am on Saturday morning..
Saturday
.. came back to work to help with- of all things- ACCOUNTING. Bryan is the best boss ever- he bought us lunch for coming in. Finished at 3:30pm
4:30pm got home and straight from there started working on the set. I plopped down on the living room floor and made myself a permanent fixture to behold by all... Chris came in and joined me (he had a comic strip that was due with about the same amount of turnaround time) and we kept popping movie after movie into the dvd player to keep us company.
I collapsed and dragged myself to bed at 2am. I hadnt moved from the spot AT ALL.
Sunday
Woke up at 8am, showered, and resumed living room control. Again, Chris, movies, and work until about 3:30-4am. Again, never moving.
Monday
Deep, drowning despair. It's crunch time! Woke up at 9, worked until noon.... finally finished the main set pieces and the furniture. Then got ready for work and brought everything with me.
And the producer loved it!
And now I am working (til midnight, my usual shift) and then when I get home I need to do the finishing touches and be fresh and ready by 9am tomorrow, when we actually shoot the commercial.
All I want is to sleep.
...
And I'm starting to think that my choice to stay in LA was a good one. :)
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Hometown Loving
I never really thought I would grow up and live in the U.S. I always wanted to live in a villa in Italy, a fort in Scotland, or a rice hut in Japan... some hermit-like abode near water and nature that screamed magical. I never thought anything in America could be old-world enough for me to like it. Now, though, I think I found a couple places that might suit me just fine.
#1 Shelter Cove http://www.sheltercove-lostcoast.com/
Located in northern California, this place boasts not just a magical name (the area it's in is called the "Lost Coast"), but a very sparse population and- the kicker- BLACK SAND BEACHES from which you can whale watch. It's mostly retirees and weird rich hippies living there, so it's perfect for me!
#2 Bakersfield, Vermont
While I was looking for the Photo of the Week I came upon a woman's photo page that blew my heart into bits. See for yourself: http://www.flickr.com/photos/63348497@N00/
She's from Bakersfield, and upon further inspection I found out that Bakersfield boasts a mere 1,000 + residency and (judging by her pictures) is CHALK FULL of magical natural things to enjoy. Although it's not near the beach, it is surrounded by rivers and streams. Heaven on earth, if you ask me.
Anywhoo... this is kind of out of the blue, but I didnt want to forget about these places so I figured what better way to remember than by putting them in blog form?
#1 Shelter Cove http://www.sheltercove-lostcoast.com/
Located in northern California, this place boasts not just a magical name (the area it's in is called the "Lost Coast"), but a very sparse population and- the kicker- BLACK SAND BEACHES from which you can whale watch. It's mostly retirees and weird rich hippies living there, so it's perfect for me!
#2 Bakersfield, Vermont
While I was looking for the Photo of the Week I came upon a woman's photo page that blew my heart into bits. See for yourself: http://www.flickr.com/photos/63348497@N00/
She's from Bakersfield, and upon further inspection I found out that Bakersfield boasts a mere 1,000 + residency and (judging by her pictures) is CHALK FULL of magical natural things to enjoy. Although it's not near the beach, it is surrounded by rivers and streams. Heaven on earth, if you ask me.
Anywhoo... this is kind of out of the blue, but I didnt want to forget about these places so I figured what better way to remember than by putting them in blog form?
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Desperately
run inside and lock the door
but still she follows me
knocking through the glee
please bother me no more
seeping past my skin i sit
and watch the silence fall
but still it's ever there
those memories to recall
and worst of all i know ive dropped the ball
i suddenly got lost inside the wall
i'm running from me
the little girl that i see
reflections of the dreams i'll never be
Desperately
she calls me through the glass
past fears i cant surpass
why cant she just go away?
Desperately
though each day is less perfect than last
with glimmers of broken dreams cast
she grabs for me desperately
lean against the wall
i feel the cold against my skin
i hear her crying call
shes trying to get in
cant she see that i will never
be a different way
expect a better me
she's reaching for yesterday
and worst of all it's me who has to pay
this pain i feel will never go away
all i can be
isnt coming from me
failure is all that's left for her to see
Desperately
she calls me through the glass
past fears i cant surpass
why cant she just go away?
Desperately
though each day is less perfect than last
with glimmers of broken dreams cast
she grabs for me desperately
but still she follows me
knocking through the glee
please bother me no more
seeping past my skin i sit
and watch the silence fall
but still it's ever there
those memories to recall
and worst of all i know ive dropped the ball
i suddenly got lost inside the wall
i'm running from me
the little girl that i see
reflections of the dreams i'll never be
Desperately
she calls me through the glass
past fears i cant surpass
why cant she just go away?
Desperately
though each day is less perfect than last
with glimmers of broken dreams cast
she grabs for me desperately
lean against the wall
i feel the cold against my skin
i hear her crying call
shes trying to get in
cant she see that i will never
be a different way
expect a better me
she's reaching for yesterday
and worst of all it's me who has to pay
this pain i feel will never go away
all i can be
isnt coming from me
failure is all that's left for her to see
Desperately
she calls me through the glass
past fears i cant surpass
why cant she just go away?
Desperately
though each day is less perfect than last
with glimmers of broken dreams cast
she grabs for me desperately
$@*#&
WHAT IS WRONG WITH CALIFORNIA?!
honestly... Prop 87 is the best thing I could have ever seen happen to California. It was the most adamantly pushed Prop BY BOTH PARTIES on the west coast.
And what do we do?
We vote no.
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
Do people even know what "voting" means?! Do they even read the ballots?! COME ON! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
Also, if you take a look, the STUPID PEOPLE are voting no on same sex marriage. BY A LANDSLIDE. Surprisingly, they are voting yes on legalizing abortion and are having a close-but-no-cigar race on legalized marijuana. It shocks me, really. I thought abortion & drugs were more taboo subjects than same sex marriage, but apparently the IGNORANT PRUDES OF AMERICA are MORE AFRAID of two happy people in love than killing innocent little ones (btw- I'm very pro choice) and supporting oversees druglords (I'm ok with MaryJ). But then again, I guess that's obvious what WITH THE WAR and all.
Whatever.
In other news, I've made my new years resolution 2 months early (drumroll please):
STICK TO A BUDGET
My debt is not gonna go away if I ignore it.
honestly... Prop 87 is the best thing I could have ever seen happen to California. It was the most adamantly pushed Prop BY BOTH PARTIES on the west coast.
And what do we do?
We vote no.
STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
Do people even know what "voting" means?! Do they even read the ballots?! COME ON! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
Also, if you take a look, the STUPID PEOPLE are voting no on same sex marriage. BY A LANDSLIDE. Surprisingly, they are voting yes on legalizing abortion and are having a close-but-no-cigar race on legalized marijuana. It shocks me, really. I thought abortion & drugs were more taboo subjects than same sex marriage, but apparently the IGNORANT PRUDES OF AMERICA are MORE AFRAID of two happy people in love than killing innocent little ones (btw- I'm very pro choice) and supporting oversees druglords (I'm ok with MaryJ). But then again, I guess that's obvious what WITH THE WAR and all.
Whatever.
In other news, I've made my new years resolution 2 months early (drumroll please):
STICK TO A BUDGET
My debt is not gonna go away if I ignore it.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!... and "Veganism is The Matrix" by Summer Berdin
TAKE THAT B*TCHES!!!
DEMOCRATS RULE!
Finally, after YEARS of wondering WTF America was (not)thinking, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY the smart people have reached the front of the line.
I am PROUD to be an American today!
F*CK YOU REPUBLICANS! F*CK YOU BUSH! F*CK YOUR WAR! F*CK YOUR POLLUTION-MAKING-CHILDREN-STARVING-PEOPLE-DYING-MONEY-HUNGRY A$$! GET OUT, AND STAY OUT!
*cough* except for Bran. Bran can stay *cough* and Pete's girlfriend *cough*
OTHER GOD-GIVEN GOOD NEWS:
- I went on a lunch date with Metallica Man today!
- Keith Ellison won the Minnesota vote! A Muslim in congress! Awesome!
- Kelly's back! With a new blog... a link will come up soon, but unfortunately I can't tell her because I'm not a member of friendster :(
Not so good news that STILL cannot bring down my freedom-happiness:
- Sallie Mae charged me TWICE for one of my loans on "accident". That's a $400 accident.
- People still are voting against gay marriage. Stupid hypocrites. Whatever happened to "all men are created equal" or "love thy neighbor"?
- Faith Hill = not so Grace Kelly anymore
- AND, MOST AWFULLY ASTOUNDING:
BEING A VEGAN IS LIKE ENTERING THE MATRIX.
by Summer "thinks shes better than everyone cuz shes vegan" Berdin
First, you have to choose a pill. The red pill: Acute Awareness, embodied by realization through anything from a happy little video named "Meet Your Meat" to a little girl crying about her dead pet pig. The blue pill: Beautiful Oblivion, a constant state of acceptance for something that you do not know because your brain does not acknowledge it's existence. If you choose the red one, you can never go back.
But that doesn't mean you wont want to.
The character 'Cypher' in The Matrix is a little like me. Although he betrayed his friends and ultimately caused their lives- and that, I hope, is not what makes us similar- you have to agree that of all the people in the Matrix universe, his character is the most human. Neo and Trinity, with their beautiful stoic expressions and ultra-cool black goth wardrobe, are too elevated and too... how you say?... PURE for us. They can do no wrong. They are the ultimate good destroying the ultimate evil, and without so much as a trip do they veer from the path they behold. Because of that ONE fact I cannot connect with them. They are Superhuman. I am not. And neither is Cypher.
Veganism, above all things, adheres to the Red Pill Policy (RPP). Once you take the red pill, your life will change forever. You will know things you have never known, through which your world and the people around you will change and look different. This heightened sense of reality is ultimately good for you, and you cannot help but acknowledge that fact, but because of this heightened sense you cannot forget the life you led before.
Cypher has a good quote about the RPP:
"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss"
I hear you Cypher. I miss meat. I have since Tuesday morning, 2 weeks ago. I miss it daily, dearly, and with drive. I miss the smell of it as it's cooking, and the taste of it on my tongue. Most of all, I miss licking the mess of it off of my fingertips.
But at the same time, I cannot stand in front of meat and NOT remember my red pill. I can't NOT remember what I have learned since I took it 5 months ago. And I can't eat, because I know that no matter how much I might enjoy that bite I will always remember what was done to give it to me.
And I am torn.
I don't want to leave the Matrix. I don't want to be a drone hooked up to a machine. But life inside is hard, and my stomach aches for something more.
"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied."
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