I'm 147!

I'm so happy it hurts. Hurts the bank, I mean. This "eating healthy" is great and all, but my wallet is constantly empty. Gone are the days when I could spend $80 for a month's worth of food... now I cry EVERY WEEK when I have to buy another $60 worth. EVERY WEEK. That's $240 a MONTH! CAN YOU IMAGINE?!

But I shouldn't complain... I'm eating things like this:


MMMmmm.


Not cryin' now.

Luis is on a diet too... the Atkins diet. It's pretty cool because even though we aren't on the same thing we still can talk to each other and support each other. It's nice to not be alone.



I cheated again this weekend though... August's mother was in town and she had brought home movies of her when she was a child growing up in India (doing missionary work). OMG WERE THEY AWESOME!!!! I SO want to do that kind of work now... maybe not the 'taking over your religion with mine' thing but the 'helping you out and building you a school' thing is great. While they were in India they raised stranded tiger cubs and baby elephants, and those were in the home movies as well.

So how did I cheat? Well, she cooked us some awesome Indian food. OMG was it great. And luckily for me authentic Indian food is actually really healthy, and it fits in just fine with the Southbeach Diet because there is no sugar.





So... this is how I look now. A little slimmer and a lot happier. And- even though my wallet is empty- my stomach is full and my heart loves me... and after watching movies about the tribes in India, I realize that that is all that matters. :)

"Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance." - Ruth E. Renkel


I am so proud of the young people in my family. We are luckier than most. We children have grown up to become free-spirited, intelligent, independent, kind, strong, and ABLE. We are travelers, adventurers, groundbreakers. We do not listen to the mass hysteria. We do not cower in corners. We stand in the middle, call out our names, and wait for the challenges of the world.

I'm feeling a little sentimental.

I just finished my weekly blog-reading (in which I go through my long list of family/friend blogs and make sure I am up-to-date with their goings ons) and the well of pride overflowed when I finished. Our parents did AMAZING jobs raising us. Since the first time they tentatively stepped onto western soil they have unerringly paved a bright and glorious road for us to play on. They left their HOMES- the places where they grew up, where their families are, where familiarity is, where they always say they will return- and they left it for us.

How do you say thank you for something like that? I will never know completely, but I think we're getting pretty close. Look how successful we've all become. And I don't mean monetarily... money is water that follows the wind. What I mean is as people. Lance- a first year college student- doesn't curse, despite the tendency for EVERYBODY IN AMERICA to do so because they think it is cool, and lives in the dorms even though his brother has an apartment so that he can 'know what it feels like to live by himself'. Angel plays soccer with pink braces and dresses like a ghostbuster, but has published a book and gotten her masters. Bim has gone to science conferences and looks up to women who take control as opposed to girls who make 'love scrapbooks.' Hazel got pregnant early, but she wasn't one of those girls who gives up her baby and quits her life. She just passed her exams to become a teacher and that baby that she had is one of the brightest in North Texas.

Do you see what I mean? There is COURAGE in my family. HONOR. You'll never see us on Jerry Springer, or the 9 o'clock breaking news. You'll see us on CNN, 20/20, and Time Magazine. And why? BECAUSE OF OUR PARENTS.

I just wanted to say Thank You. Thank you Mommy, Thank you Daddy. The children who died today in Florida will never get to know how lucky they are to have good parents- but I am.

I hope, one day, to be able to pay it all back.

Oh my God- this is heartwrenching.

'A burden too big to bear' for Florida family
Couple loses 5 children, 2 nieces in crash, granddad dies of shock over news

LAKE BUTLER, Fla. - Barbara and Terry Mann were supposed to complete their adoption of a 20-month-old boy on Thursday. Instead, they were planning funerals for him and their other four children - all killed in a fiery car wreck.

The accident Wednesday, which also killed two young relatives, cast a pall over this small town of about 2,000 people in northern Florida. After hearing of the accident, Barbara Mann's grief-stricken father suffered a heart attack and died.

"It's hard to fathom what it's like to lose five children, two nieces and a father in one shot. It seems like a burden too big to bear," said Scott Fisher, a family spokesman and pastor at the Lake Butler Church of Christ.

My prayers go out for those poor people.

UPDATE: Just weighed myself. 150! That's a new world record, folks! Summer has just lost 6 pounds towards her 56 pound goal! Yay!

(At first I thought it was 10 but then I realized I had my shoes and jacket on.)

....MMmmmm Dragon Roll Sushi....

Okay- so I'm cheating on my diet. But only once! With sushi- a healthy substitute! And it was only because I was going out with friends I havent seen in ages!

You understand.

It's okay though... I've been on the Southbeach Diet for only a week and I've already lost 5 pounds. That's apparently what happens when you take bad sugars (and, temporarily, carbs) out of your diet. It's supposed to be cleansing. I admit it's been a little hard to say no to my daily dose of fat and chocolate, but the food the book makes me eat is DELICIOUS and I'm constantly eating it, so there's hardly any time to miss anything!!! :)

So... Urban and his girlfriend Val came up from San Diego to stay at my house during the weekend in anticipation of the arrival of our good ol' friend from Miami: Chris Meesey. He's in town for a few days to check out a new art show and he gave me a call to set things up so we could see him. Pretty cool. We spent some time in Little Tokyo (my first time!) while waiting for him, and Urban and Val showed me the sights.

Afterwards we had a sit down dinner at a posh little Sushi Restaurant and I, though tempted beyond imagination, stuck to my diet and had the healthiest looking thing on the menu. AND OH WAS IT GOOD.

Urban with the Soy Sauce... isn't that the GREATEST SOY SAUCE JAR YOU'VE EVER SEEN?


Wait- how am I taking this picture if they're looking at my camera? WEIRD.


The place was cute- it had a pile of salt at the door to safeguard from any bad spirits coming in!

It was cool catching up with Urban. We AIM each other during work but it's usually ABOUT work, and nothing else. He's an apprentice background artist for EverQuest Games and he usually brags about his job while I complain about mine. He gets free dinner! AND he gets to play EverQuest ALL DAY!



Afterwards, while disgussing the strangeness of scientology and the brilliance of the show Southpark, we trotted off to Oldtown. It's a cool hippy-chic grotto in the center of Pasadena where the rich mingle with the artistic. Clubs, shops, and Hooka bars line the streets.

We parked, FREEZING, and went through a little cobblestone alleyway lined with Christmas lights and over-dressed club bouncers where coffee shop patrons sat shivering at wrought-iron tables outside in the dim candlelight taking turns on hits of multi-flavored hooka. We end up in at an dingy brick building spilling with indy/jazzy music and loud chatter.

Wow. Hippie/chic at it's finest.


It's called The Equator and it's a sweet place. Lined with couches, coffee tables, cheap art mixed with expensive art, and- best of all- a brilliantly discombobulated mix of Hollywood's coolest and the it's most artistic.

Needless to say I was totally syked.

And there- in the middle of a big hippy/chic crowd, sat Chris!


Hi Chris!

It turns out the crowd he was hanging out with was comprised of the animators and illustrators that make the show Southpark! OMG! (A total "We-were-just-talking-about-that!" moment) Me, Urban, and Val were stagestuck. :) We met an illustrator (also named Val) who was an old friend of Chris' and had worked for Southpark for a year and a half and loved it. She got picked out of her bunch straight from college to work on one of the most successful animated shows in US history.

OMG!



Straight away we started talking about how awesome her job was, but after we got over how flabbergasted we were we chilled and started talking about normal things. Urban gave Chris a toy godzilla and Val gave everyone an illustrated tutorial on the aspects of riding the X at Six Flags. (if you haven't yet then you will never understand...).

We ended the night calm and relaxed... and very happy. It was nice hanging out with some of the old crowd. It makes me want to see the others. :) We walked Chris and Val over to Val's car and Chris gave me and Urb a new issue of his comic book. Sweet! It's good... I read it last night. It's an idea I don't think I've seen before in comic books, so you guys should check it out: www.meesimo.com. Chris has always been uber talented. Oh- and it also features a 2-D version of his house, which made me giggle.



Ahhh... and now it's Sunday morning, I'm warm in my robe, and I think today I will sit, read some scripts, and relax. :)

Saturday Morning: 11AM

I get up.
Quiet.
I yawn.
I put on robe.
I go to kitchen.
Still Quiet.
I gingerly get out ingredients for Southbeach Diet Veggie Omelet #3.
Very Quiet.
I spray cooking pan.
Cooking pan starts to crackle.
Whiff of egg disperses in the air.

"BREAKFAST!!!!"

Roommates come out.
Roommates chatter.
Roommates play.
Roommates barter.
Roommates cook.

Roommates make racket.

I love my home. :)






lol.

P.S. The new guy is Christian- the swiss man I was talking about earlier. Even though there is a language barrier he still seems to enjoy our antics. Poor Peter... he was still asleep and missed all the fun!

By the way- Baked Brie cheese wrapped in Phyllo ROCKS.

















:)

<-- Nature Trails/Hiking Trails -->


That's what a sign said on my excursion through Griffith Park on Sunday. Lord knows the difference... I went straight and was completely satisfied. And oh how fun it was! Carrying out one of my New Year's resolutions (Live Better) has never been so easy.

The View from Griffith Park

Griffith Park is a vast expanse of nature "untouched" by the urban destruction nearby known as Los Angeles. It's supposedly the biggest city park in the United States, and it houses the Hollywood Sign, the Griffith Science Center & Observatory (the one from Rebel Without a Cause), a bird oasis, and a concert hall. So much for untouched. I went there on Sunday to kick off the start of the newest adventure in my life: Sundays with Summer.

In layman's terms that means that on Sundays I'm doing all those things I always wanted to do but for some reason never thought I could.

It's a vow really. When Darryl left for Grenada I realized that I was stuck socializing with unfamiliar company: myself. In 22 years I have never gotten to know myself, thus perpetuating most of that innate uncomfortable feeling I get in my own skin. And I'm tired of it. As an adult (jesus love me I used the "a" word) I'm gonna be spending 100% of my time with myself and the two of us better start speaking the same language.

Anyway- back to the park. Needless to say it was gorgeous, and I'm gonna go back. Unfortunately I was not in the right mindframe when I left the house and decided to go with slippers to the park so that I could easily feel the grass beneath my feet.

SLIPPERS TO A HIKING PARK.

*sigh*

Anywho: some pics-


This tree made me happy... he has one puff of hair way up on the top right and it reminded me of an old man with a single pew of afro-puff.


My feet, in the grass, after stumbling through a nature trail.

Oh- and I found the PERFECT writer's nook! I spent an hour there writing in my journal... it's tucked away in the center somewhere and I think (hope of all hopes) I might be the only one who knows about it:


Cool huh?

So. With the new year new roommates have come. Luis- a classmate of Miska's from Miami trying to build his bridge through Hollywood, and Christian- a 40-ish year old Swiss man (an old family friend of Andy's) who came here to learn English for 3 months.

On Saturday I helped Luis get his bed. He was so excited... we celebrated afterwards with sushi, beer, and mariokart 64.


Happy Luis.

My poor kitty... she can't handle change. Now that new people have moved in she's gone balistic. She creeps around corners, shakes at every sound, and poops in strange (albeit public) places. It's good Peter & I got nice 'doo-vays' from Ikea that she can cuddle in when she's afraid:


Cleopatra in Red


Deep Thoughts:
-Brazil (the movie) BLEW MY MIND! SO AWESOME!
-So did Brokeback Mountain... and I guess it helped a little that SUMMER GLAU (who plays River in Firefly and the movie Serenity) sat beside me while I was watching it
-Clean cars are happy, miraculously fuel efficient cars. Even over hills and canyons
-Oscar Wilde knows me better than I know myself
-I miss my Fortilayners
-The Southbeach Diet was made for people who make MUCH MORE MONEY than I do, who have MUCH LESS APPRECIATION for chocolate
-It was also made for people who have the time to do A LOT OF DISHES
-It seems I have a passion for rainbow toe socks that I never new about

I'm a schmuck.

I get cuckold into everything. Buying this dvd will make you as beautiful as Carmen Electra with a tan in Malibu! "How much?" is my response. Get the new edition of this book and become a greater filmmaker than Steven Spielberg at the top of his game! "Give me a copy!" I reply. Time tested, again and again, I get rounded up with the other cattle and go- head up and happy- towards the slaughter.

So when a snazzy website designed to sell seminars of the albeit "most successful screenwriting teacher of our generation" yet never-had-a-professional-writing-credit-to-his-name Robert McKee, for the low cost of an arm, a leg, and next month's rent multiplied by 2, what do I say?

"Should I bring a notebook?"

*sigh*

I have little hope in myself after such things. I'm so eager for the quick relief of how-to books, and 1-2-3 step media that I totally overlook the obvious. Those who cannot do, teach.

Or in this case, sell themselves to the highest (dumbest) bidder.

I am a writer. I have not written anything that can be purchased at a store or online, but I still consider myself as such. Unfortunately I do not let the writer in me lead my life's decisions... I let the lazy, afraid person in me do it. The writer in me knows that to become successful I should write, and write a lot, every day with no excuses, threats, or attempted ignorance. The lazy person in me thinks that if I could just save up enough money to buy the perchance dvd, book, or seminar, all of my problems will be solved THAT DAY and destiny will fill in all the tight pieces in my pretty puzzle.

But not today! Awash with doubt, I did a little research on our Robert McKee. His name only reports 2 movies under his belt in IMDB. On amazon the only book he has penned is the book that started the said seminar: "Story," an INSTRUCTIONAL book. When I check back at his website (which blinded me into obediance in the first place with stories of brilliance and awards) I realize that all of those oscars and grammys he "won" were really won by students who "studied under him."

(Well, considering that his seminars are always sold out by corporate groups and that he has a part time job as professor of writing in USC, it is not hard to understand that some of his students have won awards. Every student at IFAC was required to take algebra in college, but they will never credit crazy Mr. Mahalek for the things they accomplish.)

It seems, my friends, that the new year has brought my brain a little intelligence. I've already spent $60,000 on a college education of people telling me "how to do things to sell my art," I do not need to spend another $700 to confirm all of it. Carmen Electra didn't use that dvd to get hot. Steven Spielberg didn't buy that book to become successful. The only supplement I need to do what I want in life is my own willingness to hold the responsibility of taking charge of it.

The cow has decided- shivering and alone, but alive and free- to stay in the pasture.

Au Revoir 2005

I sit comfortable in my LA home office, fresh from a Texas plane full of excitable Longhorn fans ringing in the New Year by supporting their football team in it's first game of 2006, and reflect.

It's been a long one. A GRAND one. A humbling one.

I produced my first movie in 2005. Quit my first REAL production job, left my first apartment, packed up and moved- homeless and excited, driving on my first big cross country roadtrip- for the first time to my new home: Hollywood, CA.

I got my first house in 2005. Moved in- with Darryl, Andy, and Peter- and got my first full time job to support it. Met the challenge of being a player in the industry that rules the City of Angels. Hungered, humbled, hot for more. Saw greed, despair, pain, fatigue, sadness, need... more than I ever saw in Miami or Arlington. Grew up, and grew old.

I lost my first family member in 2005. And gained 2 new ones- a brother and a neice.

America witnessed the downfall of one of it's first cities. I found the first twinkle of desire that would lead me to realise one important calling of my life- if only I have the courage to take the bait. Saw the screening of my own product. Saw my work fly to tv screens across the globe.

Gained a roommate, then another, then lost 2.

Reconciled with an old friend, talked to 2 more for the first time in a decade.

Saw a Jedi become a Dark Knight. Saw a man in a batsuit take flight. Saw the gangs of the City of God. Realised Merlot was nothing but a fraud. Saw a firefly shine in the sky. Saw Harry's dead mother say "Goodbye."




If years had lives, then this one lived it to the fullest. 2005 saw the best, and worst, in all of us- and helped me see both in myself. Never will this year look like just a concession of 12 months, Janurary to December.

To quote an old hermit with a figment of imagination- "If it had been a book, it would have been called the Bible."