hehe.
To my myspace friends who have already seen these pics... sorry. I had to. I'm just so proud of them... I had to show them to my family. It's not every day that they get to see me look like a female. :)
Saturday, September 30, 2006
It's a girl!
Wow... rare site. Look Mommy- your youngest can be pretty too!
hehe.
To my myspace friends who have already seen these pics... sorry. I had to. I'm just so proud of them... I had to show them to my family. It's not every day that they get to see me look like a female. :)
hehe.
To my myspace friends who have already seen these pics... sorry. I had to. I'm just so proud of them... I had to show them to my family. It's not every day that they get to see me look like a female. :)
Thursday, September 28, 2006
The best choice I ever made
"I think I have what could be accurately called an obsessive personality. I was discussing this with Jacob last night as it relates to my moods: when I'm angry, I think really hard about how angry I am until I can barely see straight and I hate everyone. When I'm happy, I bounce around on my toes talking to myself about what an incredibly fantastic day/hour/minute I'm having. When I'm tired, I think tired tired tired tired to myself (but slowly) until my heels are dragging and my eyes want to close. Apparently I have a megaphone built into my brain that amplifies everything.
At the moment it's amplifying donuts. I've been thinking about them since I ordered my sister's birthday package. "Donut donut donut," my brain said to me while I waited for her to get it. "DONUT." My hands staged a bloodless coup on Friday night and placed an order for some donuts of my own with, I admit, little resistance from the rest of my body (particularly my mouth). "Donut," said my brain, "good job, Dianna, donut." I keep checking my mail to see if my order has been shipped yet. Unshipped, unshipped, donut, donut, where are my donuts? Unshipped. It's been one whole business day since my order was placed; can I write to veganessentials and plead with them to figure out what's wrong?
At this point it's almost certain that if I don't get donuts this week I'm going to die. It's true that there are few authenticated cases of death from donut deprivation, but I'm unconvinced that I won't be the first. The word "donut" is throbbing in my head like the Tell-Tale Heart, threatening to be my undoing. Don't believe me? Try counting how many times I just used it in a three-paragraph blog entry."
Alright... so many of you will agree that the above statement fits me like a glove. Hardy Har Har. But if you did, then you'd be missing the point of me showing it to you anyway. The point?
DONUTS.
VEGAN DONUTS.
Today I was DEVASTATED to find out that Krispy Kreme donuts were not vegan friendly. Seriously, devastated. So much so, that I considered becoming vegetarian instead of vegan. This of course is a culmination of a lot of stuff over the last few days, but my thoughts were no joke and I probably would've turned by the end of the night.
If not for the blog entry I read above.
If you go to google and you type in "Can vegans eat donuts?" (which is what I did) then you will get a couple of random links, and this: http://snoqualmie.cementhorizon.com/archives/003677.html
I opened it, and it led me to the answer to my prayers. Not only was this girl EXACTLY like me, but she was feeling the EXACT SAME WAY I was feeling at the time. And better yet: she pointed out oh-so-blatantly that there was such a thing as happiness for the vegan crowd.
And so I started an expedition. 2am. Donut time. I found a vegan donut place close by and Chris and I went to check it out. Can I say, awesome?
It's on Glenoaks in Glendale, called Sesame Donut, and the nightshift guy is Billy... he's very sweet and he slipped us like 5 donuts for free. Thanks Billy!
OOoooohhhh yyyeeeaaahhhh
Chris and a cinnamon bun
Yeah, that's right- 2 at a time baby!
One box of 2 that we brought home.
Cool little antique coffee maker :)
Total, sublime happiness.
I've eaten enough donuts in the last 20 minutes to last a year, and the boxes are still full of more. Really- I'm ecstatic. I knew it would be hard becoming a vegan, but the temptation to turn was never so bad as it was today. But God (and whatever others) up there must be really sweet... every time it gets tough they throw me 500 pillows. Thank you so much! It just deepened my determination to keep doing what I'm doing... Every fork I've come across in this road has just led me to bigger and better things. 90% of the amazing food I've tasted and the places I've been I would have never been able to experience if I wasn't a vegan. So I think I'm heading in the right direction.
If God thinks I'm doing a good job by not eating his animals, then so be it. I'll try my best to keep him happy. I hope he knows how thankful I am to him for making this easy for me. :)
At the moment it's amplifying donuts. I've been thinking about them since I ordered my sister's birthday package. "Donut donut donut," my brain said to me while I waited for her to get it. "DONUT." My hands staged a bloodless coup on Friday night and placed an order for some donuts of my own with, I admit, little resistance from the rest of my body (particularly my mouth). "Donut," said my brain, "good job, Dianna, donut." I keep checking my mail to see if my order has been shipped yet. Unshipped, unshipped, donut, donut, where are my donuts? Unshipped. It's been one whole business day since my order was placed; can I write to veganessentials and plead with them to figure out what's wrong?
At this point it's almost certain that if I don't get donuts this week I'm going to die. It's true that there are few authenticated cases of death from donut deprivation, but I'm unconvinced that I won't be the first. The word "donut" is throbbing in my head like the Tell-Tale Heart, threatening to be my undoing. Don't believe me? Try counting how many times I just used it in a three-paragraph blog entry."
Alright... so many of you will agree that the above statement fits me like a glove. Hardy Har Har. But if you did, then you'd be missing the point of me showing it to you anyway. The point?
DONUTS.
VEGAN DONUTS.
Today I was DEVASTATED to find out that Krispy Kreme donuts were not vegan friendly. Seriously, devastated. So much so, that I considered becoming vegetarian instead of vegan. This of course is a culmination of a lot of stuff over the last few days, but my thoughts were no joke and I probably would've turned by the end of the night.
If not for the blog entry I read above.
If you go to google and you type in "Can vegans eat donuts?" (which is what I did) then you will get a couple of random links, and this: http://snoqualmie.cementhorizon.com/archives/003677.html
I opened it, and it led me to the answer to my prayers. Not only was this girl EXACTLY like me, but she was feeling the EXACT SAME WAY I was feeling at the time. And better yet: she pointed out oh-so-blatantly that there was such a thing as happiness for the vegan crowd.
And so I started an expedition. 2am. Donut time. I found a vegan donut place close by and Chris and I went to check it out. Can I say, awesome?
It's on Glenoaks in Glendale, called Sesame Donut, and the nightshift guy is Billy... he's very sweet and he slipped us like 5 donuts for free. Thanks Billy!
OOoooohhhh yyyeeeaaahhhh
Chris and a cinnamon bun
Yeah, that's right- 2 at a time baby!
One box of 2 that we brought home.
Cool little antique coffee maker :)
Total, sublime happiness.
I've eaten enough donuts in the last 20 minutes to last a year, and the boxes are still full of more. Really- I'm ecstatic. I knew it would be hard becoming a vegan, but the temptation to turn was never so bad as it was today. But God (and whatever others) up there must be really sweet... every time it gets tough they throw me 500 pillows. Thank you so much! It just deepened my determination to keep doing what I'm doing... Every fork I've come across in this road has just led me to bigger and better things. 90% of the amazing food I've tasted and the places I've been I would have never been able to experience if I wasn't a vegan. So I think I'm heading in the right direction.
If God thinks I'm doing a good job by not eating his animals, then so be it. I'll try my best to keep him happy. I hope he knows how thankful I am to him for making this easy for me. :)
Monday, September 25, 2006
Getting ready for the prom
Note: Anyone looking for sketch crawl pics... dont worry. I'll have them up by FRIDAY.
As I may or may not have previously mentioned, roommate Sophia is taking movie special fx classes. This encompasses many many things, the main emphasis being on MONSTER MAKEUP.
"Monster Makeup?" You say, "What's that?"
Well, my naive reader, monster makeup, aptly put, is the makeup that is done behind the scenes to make "monsters" look convincible in front of the camera. It can consist of the smallest cuts and bruises to full-fledge head and body prosthetics. And this process, specifically if you want it to look believable (which most, if not all, filmmakers do), can only be done by a select group of people.
Enter the FX team.
Suffice it to say that no good FX team is fresh out of the batch. Nope... each and every player must go through years and years of practice until they can even be CONSIDERED good enough to be part of this complex cast. Sophia (and her classmates), must do the same. And what else are roommates for, if not for practice?
:)
So last Thursday and Friday Me, Chris, and Louie went to help out (Louie for only thursday). For 6-7 hours (8am to 2pm-ish) each day we sat in little actor chairs while they polished they trade. AND THEY DID AN AWESOME JOB! Ignore all of the above, I think we got some pros up in this house!
We brave few
Meesey and Louie lost their hair!
Maybe I should have washed my face better?...
Prosthetics. Beautiful. Who needs plastic surgery?
L to R: Luis the dead punk zombie, Meesey the jolly young st. nick, and Me the leper
Leprecy rocks!
Chris and Louie, and pumpkin head...
End of Day #1... Summer tired...
Me on Day #2... and some new molds
Sophia GLUES the skin cap on me. That's right: GLUE
5 of the maybe 12 prosthetics used
Final blow: Fire Victim. How disgustingly delicious!
Taking it off... Sophia looks tired, because this one took almost 8 hours.
Me, free, and happy.
Cool huh? If you notice, each pile of monster mash took from 6-8 hours. Puts a new light on those actors who have to do a full day's worth of acting/action AFTER going through all that, huh? Mucho respect.
And yes, of course I kept it. But then I threw it away, cuz it started to smell :)
As I may or may not have previously mentioned, roommate Sophia is taking movie special fx classes. This encompasses many many things, the main emphasis being on MONSTER MAKEUP.
"Monster Makeup?" You say, "What's that?"
Well, my naive reader, monster makeup, aptly put, is the makeup that is done behind the scenes to make "monsters" look convincible in front of the camera. It can consist of the smallest cuts and bruises to full-fledge head and body prosthetics. And this process, specifically if you want it to look believable (which most, if not all, filmmakers do), can only be done by a select group of people.
Enter the FX team.
Suffice it to say that no good FX team is fresh out of the batch. Nope... each and every player must go through years and years of practice until they can even be CONSIDERED good enough to be part of this complex cast. Sophia (and her classmates), must do the same. And what else are roommates for, if not for practice?
:)
So last Thursday and Friday Me, Chris, and Louie went to help out (Louie for only thursday). For 6-7 hours (8am to 2pm-ish) each day we sat in little actor chairs while they polished they trade. AND THEY DID AN AWESOME JOB! Ignore all of the above, I think we got some pros up in this house!
We brave few
Meesey and Louie lost their hair!
Maybe I should have washed my face better?...
Prosthetics. Beautiful. Who needs plastic surgery?
L to R: Luis the dead punk zombie, Meesey the jolly young st. nick, and Me the leper
Leprecy rocks!
Chris and Louie, and pumpkin head...
End of Day #1... Summer tired...
Me on Day #2... and some new molds
Sophia GLUES the skin cap on me. That's right: GLUE
5 of the maybe 12 prosthetics used
Final blow: Fire Victim. How disgustingly delicious!
Taking it off... Sophia looks tired, because this one took almost 8 hours.
Me, free, and happy.
Cool huh? If you notice, each pile of monster mash took from 6-8 hours. Puts a new light on those actors who have to do a full day's worth of acting/action AFTER going through all that, huh? Mucho respect.
And yes, of course I kept it. But then I threw it away, cuz it started to smell :)
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Plunged into perpetual sunset
Sunny California. 2pm.
And the sunlight on my car is a deep sepia.
Above the swatch of blue sky is a new horizon- a darker one. I noticed it first while turning onto Vineland... and not by spotting it visually. I noticed it because my body was reacting to the things I was seeing around me. A 'miracle hour' overlay surrounded all of the things on the street. Lusty yellow and dusty brown engulfed everything. I started to feel tired, and a little relaxed.
Why? Because I thought it was sundown.
And then I felt the heat around me and turned my car's AC on... strange, I thought. The nights now were getting cold. Why do I need the AC?
Then it hit me: it's early afternoon.
There is a big cloud of brown in the sky. Big. Really big. The view from Mulholland (where you can see all of LA) shows a dusty fog surrounding the city. Denizens of brown dust swirl in the sky, and the sun fights to be seen through the haze.
There is fire in our midst. Close by. The air is screaming it's pain.
And the sunlight on my car is a deep sepia.
Above the swatch of blue sky is a new horizon- a darker one. I noticed it first while turning onto Vineland... and not by spotting it visually. I noticed it because my body was reacting to the things I was seeing around me. A 'miracle hour' overlay surrounded all of the things on the street. Lusty yellow and dusty brown engulfed everything. I started to feel tired, and a little relaxed.
Why? Because I thought it was sundown.
And then I felt the heat around me and turned my car's AC on... strange, I thought. The nights now were getting cold. Why do I need the AC?
Then it hit me: it's early afternoon.
There is a big cloud of brown in the sky. Big. Really big. The view from Mulholland (where you can see all of LA) shows a dusty fog surrounding the city. Denizens of brown dust swirl in the sky, and the sun fights to be seen through the haze.
There is fire in our midst. Close by. The air is screaming it's pain.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
News From Thailand
A lone blogger has been spreading news over the internet:
Alpha_Binary 286 points 10 hours ago*
A Thai here, reporting live from the capital.
23:25 Sep 19 local time... All local television channels are shut down. Tanks are rolling in the city. The capital has been completely taken over by the MILITARY coup, facing no resistance. Cellphones have also been cut. It is also rumored that some government representatives have been held captive.
No blood shed so far. Streets are dead quiet.
Of course, their biggest mistake is forgetting about the Internet.
update @ 23:58 : FIRST ANNOUNCEMENT
The coup operation team have made their first announcement.
Mainly, they plan to seize over the complete control from the current "temporary" government, and hand it back to the people. Actually I don't quite get their point, since that is what we call an election, and one is due in several weeks. I will edit again should there be another event or announcement worth mentioning.
On the other hand, it appears that the only cable TV service, UBC, has recently been cut as well. Some radio stations are accessible, almost all of which are still airing regular programs. Rumors are that there are plans to take down the Internet in a few hours.
It is raining outside. This is going to be a long night for us Thais.
On an unrelated note, looks like my chemistry exam tomorrow is going to be canceled; making the first good news in several hours.
urgent update @ 0:16 : LINKS GOING DOWN?
Inside news from the Telephone Organization of Thailand confirms that all intranational CELLPHONE and INTERNET links will be cut within no more than TWO HOURS.
I will try my best to keep you guys updated until the very end. Thank you for the kind words. In these times, it feels really good to know that there are people out there, on the other side of the globe, who care.
more update @ 0:25 : SECOND ANNOUNCEMENT
The second announcement has come out.
They demand that all military personnels in service do report to the nearest commander/supervisor and do not move without explicit permisson from the operation team.
Martial law is now in effect.
ISPs are beginning to drop their service one by one.
Surprisingly, the links for both AIS and DTAC (two largest mobile phone providers in Thailand) have been restored.
even more update @ 0:40 : THIRD ANNOUNCEMENTThey declare
The Constitution, in use since 1997, VOID
All representatives, the parliament and the constitution court, VOID
Privy councillors, working normally
All other courts, in operation under supervision of the coup operation team
Thailand is now a democratic country with no constitution.
Universities in Bangkok will shut down indefinitely until things clear up. Oh lawd.
The military is all over the Communication Authority of Thailand's building. It is INTERNALLY CONFIRMED to a degree that all mobile phone and Internet links will cease to operate within, I repeat, no more than 2 hours.
Stay tuned.
@ 1:10 : ONE TV CHANNEL BACK UP
Out of the blue, NationTTV is back, alive and kicking, airing live feed of various locations throughout Bangkok full of peacekeeping soldiers and policemen. Fully armed. With tanks.
No soul has been harmed, yet. The Prime Minister, however, will probably not give up easily. On the other hand, I will need to find a backup link soon.
@ 1:22 : FOURTH ANNOUNCEMENT
The coup leader has furtherly declared (now through a woman announcer--not that I'm a sexist or anything)
The coup operation team FULL CONTROL over jobs previously done by the Prime Minister as (previously) declared by the law
Deputy minister of various ministries FULL CONTROL over jobs previously done by the now-powerless ministers, UNLESS announced otherwise
I'm trying to gather together pictures from news sites in Thailand (famous for its narrowband international link) and mirror them under a reliable host. Might take a while. If I don't report back within an hour, it probably means my link has been severed.
Update: http://flickr.com/search/?s=rec&q=coup+thailand&m=text This should help you get the picture
another live tv feed up @ 2:14 : BRIEF UPDATE
The coup operation team has just broadcasted a short video clip of a recent report of the current situation. Looks extremely one-sided, but anyway...
The leader is now proceeding to report to His Majesty the King the status of this ongoing coup'd'etat. This is going to be another historic moment indeed.
On the other hand, there have been rumors.. turns to television ..nvm
@ 2:24 : FIRST AND SECOND "OFFICIAL" ANNOUNCEMENT
from the now government-in-control (thus the renumbering). I am going to make it brief since, unfortunately, I am very tired right now.
Basically, all high-level staffs from every ministry, including head of universities, are to report to the coup leader by tomorrow to be briefed about the new policies they are about to enforce.
Also, September 20, 2006 is now declared a holiday for banks and stock markets in order to facilitate the transition process.
On the other hand, there have been rumors that the U.S. President will soon announce his stance against this coup. We can only hope his interference won't worsen things.
overall status report @ 3:11
I'm going to sleep. Dead tired. Here is a brief summary of things.
It is the middle of the night here. Soldiers have taken over all important political outposts in Bangkok. Tanks and armed guards can be seen everywhere. Traffic is still allowed to flow, though few will doubt that this is probably one of the worst times to travel.
All television channels are currently broadcasting the same stuff over and over: patriotic videos dedicated to HMKing that were used in previous coups. (It should be noted that the King Himself has absolutely nothing to do with this). New announcements are made from time to time, generally replayed twice or thrice for each, in alternative with the announcement screen (white text on blue screen of coup). Cable TV is still down, disconnecting the majority of the citizens from most, if not all trustworthy news sources.
Cellphones and Internet are up by now. It is somewhat unlikely that they will be severed again.
The coup currently holds full control over the country's governmental power, notably the prime minister's and ministers'. The Constitution has been trashed. The whole country is effectively under the martial law. As if those aren't bad enough; the flood in the northern Thailand and terrorism in the southern haven't gotten any better at all. Universities are suspended indefinitely. Banks and stock markets will take a break tomorrow.
I hope to see you then.
Alpha_Binary 286 points 10 hours ago*
A Thai here, reporting live from the capital.
23:25 Sep 19 local time... All local television channels are shut down. Tanks are rolling in the city. The capital has been completely taken over by the MILITARY coup, facing no resistance. Cellphones have also been cut. It is also rumored that some government representatives have been held captive.
No blood shed so far. Streets are dead quiet.
Of course, their biggest mistake is forgetting about the Internet.
update @ 23:58 : FIRST ANNOUNCEMENT
The coup operation team have made their first announcement.
Mainly, they plan to seize over the complete control from the current "temporary" government, and hand it back to the people. Actually I don't quite get their point, since that is what we call an election, and one is due in several weeks. I will edit again should there be another event or announcement worth mentioning.
On the other hand, it appears that the only cable TV service, UBC, has recently been cut as well. Some radio stations are accessible, almost all of which are still airing regular programs. Rumors are that there are plans to take down the Internet in a few hours.
It is raining outside. This is going to be a long night for us Thais.
On an unrelated note, looks like my chemistry exam tomorrow is going to be canceled; making the first good news in several hours.
urgent update @ 0:16 : LINKS GOING DOWN?
Inside news from the Telephone Organization of Thailand confirms that all intranational CELLPHONE and INTERNET links will be cut within no more than TWO HOURS.
I will try my best to keep you guys updated until the very end. Thank you for the kind words. In these times, it feels really good to know that there are people out there, on the other side of the globe, who care.
more update @ 0:25 : SECOND ANNOUNCEMENT
The second announcement has come out.
They demand that all military personnels in service do report to the nearest commander/supervisor and do not move without explicit permisson from the operation team.
Martial law is now in effect.
ISPs are beginning to drop their service one by one.
Surprisingly, the links for both AIS and DTAC (two largest mobile phone providers in Thailand) have been restored.
even more update @ 0:40 : THIRD ANNOUNCEMENTThey declare
The Constitution, in use since 1997, VOID
All representatives, the parliament and the constitution court, VOID
Privy councillors, working normally
All other courts, in operation under supervision of the coup operation team
Thailand is now a democratic country with no constitution.
Universities in Bangkok will shut down indefinitely until things clear up. Oh lawd.
The military is all over the Communication Authority of Thailand's building. It is INTERNALLY CONFIRMED to a degree that all mobile phone and Internet links will cease to operate within, I repeat, no more than 2 hours.
Stay tuned.
@ 1:10 : ONE TV CHANNEL BACK UP
Out of the blue, NationTTV is back, alive and kicking, airing live feed of various locations throughout Bangkok full of peacekeeping soldiers and policemen. Fully armed. With tanks.
No soul has been harmed, yet. The Prime Minister, however, will probably not give up easily. On the other hand, I will need to find a backup link soon.
@ 1:22 : FOURTH ANNOUNCEMENT
The coup leader has furtherly declared (now through a woman announcer--not that I'm a sexist or anything)
The coup operation team FULL CONTROL over jobs previously done by the Prime Minister as (previously) declared by the law
Deputy minister of various ministries FULL CONTROL over jobs previously done by the now-powerless ministers, UNLESS announced otherwise
I'm trying to gather together pictures from news sites in Thailand (famous for its narrowband international link) and mirror them under a reliable host. Might take a while. If I don't report back within an hour, it probably means my link has been severed.
Update: http://flickr.com/search/?s=rec&q=coup+thailand&m=text This should help you get the picture
another live tv feed up @ 2:14 : BRIEF UPDATE
The coup operation team has just broadcasted a short video clip of a recent report of the current situation. Looks extremely one-sided, but anyway...
The leader is now proceeding to report to His Majesty the King the status of this ongoing coup'd'etat. This is going to be another historic moment indeed.
On the other hand, there have been rumors.. turns to television ..nvm
@ 2:24 : FIRST AND SECOND "OFFICIAL" ANNOUNCEMENT
from the now government-in-control (thus the renumbering). I am going to make it brief since, unfortunately, I am very tired right now.
Basically, all high-level staffs from every ministry, including head of universities, are to report to the coup leader by tomorrow to be briefed about the new policies they are about to enforce.
Also, September 20, 2006 is now declared a holiday for banks and stock markets in order to facilitate the transition process.
On the other hand, there have been rumors that the U.S. President will soon announce his stance against this coup. We can only hope his interference won't worsen things.
overall status report @ 3:11
I'm going to sleep. Dead tired. Here is a brief summary of things.
It is the middle of the night here. Soldiers have taken over all important political outposts in Bangkok. Tanks and armed guards can be seen everywhere. Traffic is still allowed to flow, though few will doubt that this is probably one of the worst times to travel.
All television channels are currently broadcasting the same stuff over and over: patriotic videos dedicated to HMKing that were used in previous coups. (It should be noted that the King Himself has absolutely nothing to do with this). New announcements are made from time to time, generally replayed twice or thrice for each, in alternative with the announcement screen (white text on blue screen of coup). Cable TV is still down, disconnecting the majority of the citizens from most, if not all trustworthy news sources.
Cellphones and Internet are up by now. It is somewhat unlikely that they will be severed again.
The coup currently holds full control over the country's governmental power, notably the prime minister's and ministers'. The Constitution has been trashed. The whole country is effectively under the martial law. As if those aren't bad enough; the flood in the northern Thailand and terrorism in the southern haven't gotten any better at all. Universities are suspended indefinitely. Banks and stock markets will take a break tomorrow.
I hope to see you then.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
She did not die of old age... she died before her time...
I went to the West Hollywood bookfair today. Otherwise an unspectacular event on all accounts, today's visit was quite extraordinary.
I did not know that I was empty, to be so full.
I went with Chris because he wanted to get the autograph of the creator of "Hellboy," who was scheduled to make an appearance. I packed my camera and $6. We browsed for a while, and I took many pictures, and Chris lined up with his comic book in hand. After Chris got the autograph he received a phonecall, so I decided to keep looking around on my own.
And that's when I saw it.
Across the lawn of the West Hollywood library sat a regular booth (quite small actually, about the size of a desk among booths big enough for demonstrations and artwork). At it sat a young woman, quietly writing while an older jewish lady sat waiting across from her. Curious, I got a little closer.
The handwritten sign on the booth said FREE PSYCHIC PET READINGS.
Hmmm, I thought... Cleo is so uncomfortable around the house, and she's been with us for a year... maybe I could give this a shot. It's free, right?
So I waited. The "pet psychic" was the young woman- the name on the table brochure read 'Karen Gonzales'- and the way she worked was she would ask some question and then start writing. Apparently whatever soul was speaking to her at the time would send it's message through pen in pad. The old lady (who had with her a picture of a very mangy, yet happy Golden Retreiver named Suzie) was taking a bit longer than expected, so my mind wandered.
I started to think, what if she could talk to dead pets too? Maybe I should ask her about Eclipse.
It was a throw away thought... something that I wouldn't have remembered if the old lady hadn't finished right when I thought it. And since it was still in my mind, I said it out loud as I sat down.
"Do you do dead pets or just the ones that are alive?"
Karen was charming. She had a sweet smile and a quiet nature about her. She shook my hand.
"We can try both, if you want."
I agreed (despite trepidation- there were people waiting behind me). Again she smiled and turned to a fresh new page on her notepad.
"What are their names?"
"Umm... Eclipse and Cleo"
"And are they doggies or kitties?"
*awkward pause*
"Ummm, well both are cats."
Again, smile. Turn of a page. And with that she started writing. I felt uncomfortable... the sun was on my back and I could feel drops of sweat crawl down my arm. God please, my kingdom for a breeze.
She only took about 5 minutes- no, less. And then she stopped, and looked up. And this is what she said:
"The first one we'll do is Eclipse. She says she wants you to know that she did not die of old age... she died before her time. I'm getting that it was not a sickness that killed her, more an accident. She had eaten something that was not good for her- I'm getting some sort of constriction in the throat. She had something stuck in there, and you tried to feed her but it wouldn't work. That's why she died. She said it wasn't your fault, and there's nothing you could have done. She says you blame yourself for it, but not to feel bad. Even though you couldn't always be around- you were very busy- the time she had with you was a good one. She said she was very happy with you, and you were very good to her."
By her second sentence I was sobbing. Eclipse died a year ago in August. I had come home to Texas for a week visit, and even though she was fine and happy on the first night the days following it she steadily took a turn for the worse. She would not eat, would not drink, and could hardly walk for her dwindling energy. I took her to the vet 3 times (spent my next month's rent on shots and the like) but the vet told me it was probably just her time: she was probably just dying of old age. Mommy didn't think so, because she remembered that my first night back Eclipse had hunted down and eaten a bird. I went to the vet one last time, but an x-ray would have cost as much as I had already spent, and I did not have that money. I tried force feeding her through a plastic needle, and did so for the last 2 days. The night before I left Eclipse had struggled up the stairs to my room and spent the night on my floor. I went back to LA the next morning, and Eclipse died a day later.
The psychic went on:
"Now Cleo is the cat you have now. Cleo feels you are restricting... you're very tense. It seems that all of the kindness and freedom you showed Eclipse is being held back somehow on Cleo. She says that after what happened to Eclipse you have not been so relaxed, almost like because of what happened you think you must prevent it from happening to Cleo by being more strict with her. She doesn't think you understand her, and she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around you. You played with Eclipse more, and you let her have more freedoms. I feel that if you let Cleo have a little more freedom, a little more space, in 3 weeks or so she'll be more comfortable around you."
I was shaken. Bumbling. I had gotten Cleo a month or so before Eclipse died. When I heard the news of her death I shunned Cleo. Cleo looks the spitting image of Eclipse in her youth, and I felt that by showing Cleo affection I would be replacing Eclipse's place and doing her a dishonor. So for another month or so I ignored her, only looking at her when I needed to feed her. I gradually got better, but I've still been restrained towards her.
I didn't want Eclipse to think I was replacing her.
So many things were running- no, racing- through my mind. Karen had used only a page of her notepad, but yet she had read me a novel. How could she know?! How did she... oh my god...
"Can I ask you something?" I say.
"Yes of course."
A slight breeze started to blow, and the sun gave me some room. "Are they happy?"
Karen's face lit up at this, and she took my hand. "Oh very much so!" She said, "Don't worry about that... I can tell you have a good understanding of animals- more than most. They are very happy. Very, very much."
And that was it. Trembling, I reach for a handshake. As she takes my hand I pull her in and give her a big hug... and she pats me on the back. I take her picture, and then I leave.
And of all the pictures I took today, that was the only one I uploaded for you to see. Everything just wasn't as interesting afterwards.
I can't put anything into words... I'm an idiot. But if you could only imagine how I felt at that moment, and how I feel now. Love is all around me. It's so thick- I can taste it. When we got home I went outside and sprawled in the front yard and felt the breeze tickle my hair. And I knew, I KNEW, that I wasn't alone.
And if you've ever lost anyone close, don't worry. You aren't either.
Karen Gonzales can be reached online, at karen@beyondthisworld.com or www.beyondthisworld.com. Or, if you wish to speak with her, call her: 818.882.4383
I did not know that I was empty, to be so full.
I went with Chris because he wanted to get the autograph of the creator of "Hellboy," who was scheduled to make an appearance. I packed my camera and $6. We browsed for a while, and I took many pictures, and Chris lined up with his comic book in hand. After Chris got the autograph he received a phonecall, so I decided to keep looking around on my own.
And that's when I saw it.
Across the lawn of the West Hollywood library sat a regular booth (quite small actually, about the size of a desk among booths big enough for demonstrations and artwork). At it sat a young woman, quietly writing while an older jewish lady sat waiting across from her. Curious, I got a little closer.
The handwritten sign on the booth said FREE PSYCHIC PET READINGS.
Hmmm, I thought... Cleo is so uncomfortable around the house, and she's been with us for a year... maybe I could give this a shot. It's free, right?
So I waited. The "pet psychic" was the young woman- the name on the table brochure read 'Karen Gonzales'- and the way she worked was she would ask some question and then start writing. Apparently whatever soul was speaking to her at the time would send it's message through pen in pad. The old lady (who had with her a picture of a very mangy, yet happy Golden Retreiver named Suzie) was taking a bit longer than expected, so my mind wandered.
I started to think, what if she could talk to dead pets too? Maybe I should ask her about Eclipse.
It was a throw away thought... something that I wouldn't have remembered if the old lady hadn't finished right when I thought it. And since it was still in my mind, I said it out loud as I sat down.
"Do you do dead pets or just the ones that are alive?"
Karen was charming. She had a sweet smile and a quiet nature about her. She shook my hand.
"We can try both, if you want."
I agreed (despite trepidation- there were people waiting behind me). Again she smiled and turned to a fresh new page on her notepad.
"What are their names?"
"Umm... Eclipse and Cleo"
"And are they doggies or kitties?"
*awkward pause*
"Ummm, well both are cats."
Again, smile. Turn of a page. And with that she started writing. I felt uncomfortable... the sun was on my back and I could feel drops of sweat crawl down my arm. God please, my kingdom for a breeze.
She only took about 5 minutes- no, less. And then she stopped, and looked up. And this is what she said:
"The first one we'll do is Eclipse. She says she wants you to know that she did not die of old age... she died before her time. I'm getting that it was not a sickness that killed her, more an accident. She had eaten something that was not good for her- I'm getting some sort of constriction in the throat. She had something stuck in there, and you tried to feed her but it wouldn't work. That's why she died. She said it wasn't your fault, and there's nothing you could have done. She says you blame yourself for it, but not to feel bad. Even though you couldn't always be around- you were very busy- the time she had with you was a good one. She said she was very happy with you, and you were very good to her."
By her second sentence I was sobbing. Eclipse died a year ago in August. I had come home to Texas for a week visit, and even though she was fine and happy on the first night the days following it she steadily took a turn for the worse. She would not eat, would not drink, and could hardly walk for her dwindling energy. I took her to the vet 3 times (spent my next month's rent on shots and the like) but the vet told me it was probably just her time: she was probably just dying of old age. Mommy didn't think so, because she remembered that my first night back Eclipse had hunted down and eaten a bird. I went to the vet one last time, but an x-ray would have cost as much as I had already spent, and I did not have that money. I tried force feeding her through a plastic needle, and did so for the last 2 days. The night before I left Eclipse had struggled up the stairs to my room and spent the night on my floor. I went back to LA the next morning, and Eclipse died a day later.
The psychic went on:
"Now Cleo is the cat you have now. Cleo feels you are restricting... you're very tense. It seems that all of the kindness and freedom you showed Eclipse is being held back somehow on Cleo. She says that after what happened to Eclipse you have not been so relaxed, almost like because of what happened you think you must prevent it from happening to Cleo by being more strict with her. She doesn't think you understand her, and she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around you. You played with Eclipse more, and you let her have more freedoms. I feel that if you let Cleo have a little more freedom, a little more space, in 3 weeks or so she'll be more comfortable around you."
I was shaken. Bumbling. I had gotten Cleo a month or so before Eclipse died. When I heard the news of her death I shunned Cleo. Cleo looks the spitting image of Eclipse in her youth, and I felt that by showing Cleo affection I would be replacing Eclipse's place and doing her a dishonor. So for another month or so I ignored her, only looking at her when I needed to feed her. I gradually got better, but I've still been restrained towards her.
I didn't want Eclipse to think I was replacing her.
So many things were running- no, racing- through my mind. Karen had used only a page of her notepad, but yet she had read me a novel. How could she know?! How did she... oh my god...
"Can I ask you something?" I say.
"Yes of course."
A slight breeze started to blow, and the sun gave me some room. "Are they happy?"
Karen's face lit up at this, and she took my hand. "Oh very much so!" She said, "Don't worry about that... I can tell you have a good understanding of animals- more than most. They are very happy. Very, very much."
And that was it. Trembling, I reach for a handshake. As she takes my hand I pull her in and give her a big hug... and she pats me on the back. I take her picture, and then I leave.
And of all the pictures I took today, that was the only one I uploaded for you to see. Everything just wasn't as interesting afterwards.
I can't put anything into words... I'm an idiot. But if you could only imagine how I felt at that moment, and how I feel now. Love is all around me. It's so thick- I can taste it. When we got home I went outside and sprawled in the front yard and felt the breeze tickle my hair. And I knew, I KNEW, that I wasn't alone.
And if you've ever lost anyone close, don't worry. You aren't either.
Karen Gonzales can be reached online, at karen@beyondthisworld.com or www.beyondthisworld.com. Or, if you wish to speak with her, call her: 818.882.4383
Saturday, September 16, 2006
The Stanford Prison Experiment
In the summer of 1971 24 college students were rounded up and taken to a make-shift prison inside the walls of a Stanford basement. By the toss of a coin, 12 students were assigned the role of prison guard, while the remaining 12 were assigned the role of prisoner.The 24 students involved in the experiment were picked, through much deliberation from the researchers and pyschologists themselves, because of their apparent "normalcy." Each and every student involved signed up voluntarily (for the price of $15 a day).
The project was originally planned to span a period of 2 weeks. It lasted only 6 days.
The events that went on during those 6 days and 6 nights (well documented and video-taped) were- by all standards- dehumanizing, immoral, and sadistic. It is a horrific account of the powers of the prison system in our society today, and a sad insight on the affect it has on the men and women who control the prison as well as those incarcerated in it.
It has made me rethink the way I view my own definition of criminal punishment.
Take a look:
- The Official site: http://www.prisonexp.org/
- Video by the 'warden': http://video.google.com/videoplay docid=2683701783583080634
- Entry in Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment
- About the end: http://www.stanford.edu/dept/news/pr/97/970108prisonexp.html
Astounding, isn't it? It reminds me of the Milgram Experiment in 1961, were volunteers were asked to press a button that 'electricly shocked' an unseen person in solitary confinement, the shocks gradually becoming stronger in voltage each time the volunteer pressed the button. With each shock they could hear the begging and screaming of the person in the other room, but because they were commanded to by a superior they continued administering the 'treatment.' 67% of the volunteers involved completed the treatment, knowingly pressing the button the maximum amount possible (the final shock surging with 450 volts of electricity), despite the fact that the person in the other room had since stopped making noise.
Remember: they were all VOLUNTEERS.
There are so many negative implications toward our country's current politics and procedures when dealing with nation-wide AND international problems that it makes me dizzy. What is the difference between punishment and obedience? What does this say of the cognitive dissonance theory and the power of authority, especially in America today? Things are happening in this world that by normal standards are atrocities of everything we- as a nation- should stand for, but yet we agree to it all and placate ourselves by thinking that that is how it has to be. How do we distance ourselves and become the independent variable in the experiment? When do we suddenly see through the eyes of the uninvolved bystander, who has not seen the events leading up to it all, in which we base our whole arguement?
And what do we do with it all now?
The project was originally planned to span a period of 2 weeks. It lasted only 6 days.
The events that went on during those 6 days and 6 nights (well documented and video-taped) were- by all standards- dehumanizing, immoral, and sadistic. It is a horrific account of the powers of the prison system in our society today, and a sad insight on the affect it has on the men and women who control the prison as well as those incarcerated in it.
It has made me rethink the way I view my own definition of criminal punishment.
Take a look:
- The Official site: http://www.prisonexp.org/
- Video by the 'warden': http://video.google.com/videoplay docid=2683701783583080634
- Entry in Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment
- About the end: http://www.stanford.edu/dept/news/pr/97/970108prisonexp.html
Astounding, isn't it? It reminds me of the Milgram Experiment in 1961, were volunteers were asked to press a button that 'electricly shocked' an unseen person in solitary confinement, the shocks gradually becoming stronger in voltage each time the volunteer pressed the button. With each shock they could hear the begging and screaming of the person in the other room, but because they were commanded to by a superior they continued administering the 'treatment.' 67% of the volunteers involved completed the treatment, knowingly pressing the button the maximum amount possible (the final shock surging with 450 volts of electricity), despite the fact that the person in the other room had since stopped making noise.
Remember: they were all VOLUNTEERS.
There are so many negative implications toward our country's current politics and procedures when dealing with nation-wide AND international problems that it makes me dizzy. What is the difference between punishment and obedience? What does this say of the cognitive dissonance theory and the power of authority, especially in America today? Things are happening in this world that by normal standards are atrocities of everything we- as a nation- should stand for, but yet we agree to it all and placate ourselves by thinking that that is how it has to be. How do we distance ourselves and become the independent variable in the experiment? When do we suddenly see through the eyes of the uninvolved bystander, who has not seen the events leading up to it all, in which we base our whole arguement?
And what do we do with it all now?
Friday, September 08, 2006
Someone refill my OCD pills
They changed brands of toilet protector paper at work today.
You know- those thin sheets of paper that you get from the cardboard hanging box purely for the safety of guarding your tush from exposure to others?
Those.
They changed them. I can tell.
*sigh*
You know- those thin sheets of paper that you get from the cardboard hanging box purely for the safety of guarding your tush from exposure to others?
Those.
They changed them. I can tell.
*sigh*
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tranquility and Rikka
The below was posted by Rikka today. How ironic, the day I tell Bryan "in 2 months I'm leaving E" is the day that she posts exactly how I feel about it.
If ever you had any doubt then Rikka's words should answer them all:
Without just one nest
A bird can call the world home
Life is your career
Written by Styx Sxi from Hong Kong, China
Styx has the best MySpace Bullets by far. After lines like that it's really great to start another useless work day, isn't it. Life is not about going to work 5 days a week saving up for retirement funds when you're young. Life is about experiencing and testing for new things. Don't stay in a habit, this can only lead to depression and sadness. I'm a traveler, you should be one too. This doesn't mean that I want to go to jungle to search myself. I love the art of business. I want to do something that I can call (our) own and original and real customer service. Say: It was really nice to brake some boundaries for you. Not offer the same old cheese everytime. Mouses are getting bored. The most used thought nowadays... I wonder...
Random:
- Labor Day in San Diego = Eating crab by the bay (freshly fished, so vegan), walking through real haunted houses in Old Town, and experimenting with pineapples, strawberries & coconuts for pina coladas. All while listening to Chuck Barry. Oh- and while I suck at chicken fights in the pool, I can still play a mad game of "diving through ranch dressing".
- Even without all that, it's nice to see old friends.
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